Are you a dreamer?

From kicked-out to on-the-mic, & Wanel...

2010-05-02T12:50:00.005-04:00

Friday night, New City hosted Sara Groves as the headliner of our annual Spring Production, out in a suburban church in Wyckoff, NJ. I was in charge of 31 kids, for 7 hours, including the hour-long bus ride to and from Wyckoff, pizza dinner from a local pizzeria (after being harassed by a competing pizzeria owner on my cell phone--someone who answered his call at New City gave him my cell #, and he was aggressive, to say the least), and then there was the part where the kids, who were excessively wound-up, were jumping over couches in the room backstage, shoving and pushing in line, and "shh-ing" each other so loudly that I was ready at any moment to be informed that my crew was disrupting the performance. They performed famously, and I'm told it appeared that all was well. So that's good. Backstage and the bus rides, however, were also famous but not necessarily in the most positive of senses...

Last night was a different story, fortunately redeeming my scarring experience of the previous night. Sara Groves graciously agreed to perform at New City, and once again my kiddo-crew opened for her. As I was riding the bus to work yesterday, my stomach was knotting with dread at the though of once again trying to keep the kids calm and quiet backstage, since I felt utter failure the night before. But the Lord was good to us, and the kids, though still very excited and riled up, were more receptive to following directions. And they were great. They really are great...

Sara Groves was also great. I was excited to hear her, since when she performed in Wyckoff last year and Friday night, I loaded the kids up on the bus and headed back to Jersey City at intermission, in efforts to get the little ones home at a somewhat reasonable hour. So last night was the first time I got to stay for the whole show. Clearly, the Lord has gifted Sara Groves not only musically and as a song-writer, but also as a minister, as she shares the Gospel in between and through her songs. It was beautiful.

There were two moments that were especially striking to me. During the New City set, one of our 6th grade boys gave an introduction to the next song. He talked about how last year, he got in trouble all the time, and was kicked out of the spring production because of his behavior. He mentioned that he was really upset about it, and then a teen staff talked to him about the qualities he needed to show to be the kind of person God was calling him to be. He said, "something must have changed, because here I am tonight. And our next song talks about how Jesus can change our lives..."

I was a bit teary-eyed because his words were so powerful to me. I was the one who made the call last year. He had been getting into trouble pretty frequently at After School, and then there was a dispute with a bunch of the older boys where it got particularly out of hand, and he angrily knocked over the drum cage up on the stage. I sat him down in my office and told him he couldn't be in the spring production, and then called his mother to tell her the news. He was so angry--he didn't talk to me for at least a week following. Those moments are so hard. Those decisions, those phone calls: they're draining and taxing on my heart. But it's those moments, amidst the beautiful ones--this year, he's pulled himself together and made significantly better choices. I believe God is doing something in him. And so his testimony blessed me deeply.

The second moment that was especially moving for me was at the end of the evening when one of our board members, who is also an After School Center parent, shared how New City has been a blessing to her life and her family. She talked about Wanel. Wanel is a young man from Haiti, who the After School Center students sponsor through World Vision. Each Friday, we collect an offering on "World Day," and the kids' nickels and quarters, instead of being spent on chips and quarter-juices at the corner-store, go to Wanel. I think sponsoring Wanel is great--I look forward to reading his notes to us, and having the kids draw him pictures and send letters back. But on the day-to-day basis, it often ends up being moments before community time begins on Fridays, when I realize that I've forgotten to get out the offering basket, and I scramble around to find it. In the midst of everything else happening at After School Center, sponsoring Wanel isn't something I'd point to as one of the most significant aspects. But last night, Sonya talked about how her sons come home and talk about Wanel, reminding her that they need to bring their offering into After School. She talked about how it touched her, to think that she could make a difference in others' lives, broadening her focus from making it through the day-to-day challenges, to thinking of being able to bless others. I was really moved to hear that something that I take so for granted in the midst of the busyness and other details, has been powerful in someone else's life. It encourages me to know that God is at work in ways that I don't even know...

Sara Groves -- "Joy is in Our Hearts"

we were pressed on every side
full of fear and troubled thoughts
for good reason we carried heavy hearts

it is good to come together
in our friendship to remember
all the reasons hope is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength
hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength

now with patience in our suffering
perseverance in our prayers
with good reason this hope is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength
hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength

oh we saw the face of Angels
many good things well secured
for good reason this joy is in our hearts

hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength
hallelujah hallelujah
Christ our joy and strength

for good reason joy is in our hearts...

Redeeming the backyard...

2010-04-19T07:55:00.004-04:00

Sam and Abby have been working super hard in our backyard. And I go out to occasionally play in the dirt as well.

Here are a couple of "before" pics from when we moved in last August (it's a jungle out there...for real!)...

Now these aren't really "after" pictures, because we're still very much in process. But look at the planting and growth! :)

Peonies, and these "night-flowers" that open at night--both given to us by delightful neighbors...
Dahlias...

Should I fainting be...

2010-04-02T21:19:00.003-04:00

I love the last verse of O Sacred Head Now Wounded:

"What language shall I borrow to thank thee, dearest friend, for this thy dying sorrow, thy pity without end? O make me thine forever; and should I fainting be, Lord, let me never, never outlive my love for thee."

I sang it tonight at our Good Friday service. And found the last phrases especially fitting, and powerful too...

Should I fainting be (got the fainting part covered), but indeed Lord, let me never, never outlive my love for thee.

College Tour 2010 - next week! :)

2010-04-01T08:24:00.002-04:00

New City's spring break college tour begins on Monday! We are taking a group of 10 high school students on a 5 day college tour. We will be visiting 13 schools, many in NJ, as well as traveling north to visit Yale, then south to Morgan State and Howard. We've built into the trip schedule lots reflection time, as well as time for devotions and worship. We'll be reading Tim Keller's book "Counterfeit Gods" and discussing it throughout the week. I'm really excited about it. We are taking a couple of students in particular who say that a year ago they weren't even thinking about college, but after being around New City and meeting peers who are going to college next year, they are excited to check this college thing out. Trips like this also offer great relational opportunities, and I am looking forward to the time spent with these teens.

Please pray for Josh, Will, and myself, as the trip leaders--to take advantage of the opportunities God opens up, to drive safely, and to have energy throughout a busy week. Also pray for the group of 10 students --to be open to new things, to feel empowered that they are full of giftedness and a college education is a realistic goal, and for the Holy Spirit's presence prompting and guiding them to consider or grow in relationship with Christ.

My second request is on a personal note, to ask for your prayers for health and wellness. I've been fighting a series of colds all winter, and finally after much stubborn resistance, went to the doctor last week. She ran some blood work and I went back to see her on Saturday to get the results. She gave me a clean bill of health, and I went on my merry way. A few hours later, I was filling up my Brita pitcher at my kitchen sink and had a split second of knowing that I was going to faint. I couldn't sit down quickly enough, and the next thing I recall is waking up on the kitchen floor, the sink still running. I'm not sure how long I was out, and I was confused and scared when I came to. If this had been my first instance of fainting, I'd feel more confident in saying that it was a just random thing, but I've fainted a few times before, during my senior year of high school and first couple of years at Calvin--a couple times resulted in gashing my head open and needing stitches. After the last time, I saw a cardiologist in Grand Rapids, who ran many tests, but came up with only a few slight irregularities but nothing conclusive. I was on medication for my last years at Calvin, and it was almost exactly three years ago that the cardiologist took me off it because of no further instances. I had hoped my fainting experiences were behind me... I've felt okay the last couple days, though a bit sore because I hit the island in my kitchen on the way down, scraping and bruising my back. I'm grateful for the people here in my life, but I live pretty independently (frequenting public transit, being home alone a lot, etc.), so it's a bit eerie to be concerned that I could lose consciousness. I'm having my old cardiologist send my records out here, and am following up with my doctor here, hopefully to be referred to another cardiologist. In the mean time, I'd very much love your prayers for safety and health, especially as I anticipate a busy week next week with leading and traveling on our spring break trip.

Thanks for reading and praying...

"Keep Living Where God Is..."

2010-03-11T19:27:00.003-05:00

Perhaps you didn't know this about me...but I love Henri Nouwen... ;)

From "The Inner Voice of Love" by Henri Nouwen.

Keep Living Where God Is (p.23-4)

"When you experience a great need for human affection, you have to ask yourself whether the circumstances surrounding you and the people you are with are truly where God wants you to be. Whatever you are doing--watching a movie, writing a book, giving a presentation, eating, or sleeping--you have to stay in God's presence. If you feel a great loneliness and a deep longing for human contact, you have to be extremely discerning. Ask yourself whether this situation is truly God-given. Because where God wants you to be, God holds you safe and gives you peace, even when there is pain.
To live a disciplined life is to live in such a way that you want only to be where God is with you. The more deeply you live your spiritual life, the easier it will be to discern the difference between living with God and living without God, and the easier it will be to move away from the places where God is no longer with you.
The great challenge here is faithfulness, which must be lived in the choices of every moment. When your eating, drinking, working, playing, speaking, or writing is no longer for the glory of God, you should stop it immediately, because when you no longer live for the glory of God, you begin living for your own glory. Then you separate yourself from God and do yourself harm.
Your main question should always be whether something is lived with or without God. You have your own inner knowledge to answer that question. Every time you do something that comes from your needs for acceptance, affirmation, or affection, and every time you do something that makes these needs grow, you know that you are not with God. These needs will never be satisfied; they will only increase when you yield to them. But every time you do something for the glory of God, you will know God's peace in your heart and find rest there..."

Longing for a Better Country...

2010-03-06T09:26:00.006-05:00

I've been mulling this over for a little while now...

In the midst of a list of some of those who lived in faith, the writer of Hebrews says this...

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefor God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them..." Hebrews 11:13-16

These words have never stuck out to me before, but this week, the phrase "longing for a better country" has consistently rolled through my mind. These words striking my heart is timely, for I've been feeling a bit restless. I love this place (not just the geographical sense of Jersey City, but also a broader sense of considering the places God has brought me in life and ministry). But still, something has been stirring within me--a kind of nagging restlessness. I've been missing the country-side, thinking of the days when I sat in the backyard with a grazing horse, then jumped on his back for a bareback stroll around the yard and field. I've been missing my family, and feeling so very far away. I've been lonely, and at the same time, drained from the relationships I try to sustain on a daily basis. I've been wondering if I'm really cut out for this ministry--if maybe someone with more energy and vision would connect better with the kids, would respond better to the continual push for growth, etc.

So the words of Hebrews 11 have been quite an encouragement to me.

In the midst of my restlessness, I am reminded that though I have all of these whirling and sometimes conflicting emotions, I really am longing for something else. In the Calvin College/Reformed circles (which I've also been missing), the buzzword is shalom. Longing for a better country is longing for shalom...waiting for Christ to return to redeem, reconcile, and restore all things and relationships.

I have to remind myself not to take my feelings so seriously sometimes...certainly there are many that are legitimate, but it helps to recognize that in the midst of all these emotions, what I am really missing, what I am really longing for, won't be found this side of heaven. So I keep praying the words of "All who are Thirsty:" Come, Lord Jesus, Come! And I try to rest my weary heart, confident of the promise of preparation--that one day, he will come and every knee will bow and every tongue confess him as Savior and Lord...

---- Photos (recent and not-so recent)... :)

Celebrating Wendy's birthday, and praying for the Lord's blessings over her life, family, and home...
A weekend retreat with the women of Vroom Street Church...lots of beautiful snow...

I sat with headphones at dinner, learning my part in a duet to sing at the evening's talent show...
On stage...

Here's the not-so-recent part, fondly recalled...

Shhh!

2010-01-27T09:29:00.002-05:00

Every Tuesday night, after the kiddos go home from After School Center, members of the teen staff head over to the nearby library at St Peters College, for a night of homework and tutoring. Last night, most of our students were in the same area, and there was also a group of 4-5 college students, who were being crude and loud. While the teenagers studied diligently (well, for the most part), the college students were pulling all sorts of shenanigans. I gave them passive-aggressive glares, but of course that was not effective. After a little while, one of our high school seniors politely got up, walked over, and said, "excuse me, please, I don't mean to shut you all up or anything, but a lot of people are trying to study around here." His approach was much more effective than mine, and the group moved their socializing elsewhere shortly there-after. And I felt proud of our kids...

Christmas...

2009-12-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

"God came to us because he wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story, and to help us realize that we are not walking in circles but moving towards the house of peace and joy. This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give us comfort and consolation: we are not alone on our journey. The God of love who gave us life sent his only Son to be with us at all times and in all places, so that we never have to feel lost in our struggles but always can trust that he walks with us.

The challenge is to let God be who he wants to be. A part of us clings to our aloneness and does not allow God to touch us where we are most in pain. Often we hide from him precisely those places in ourselves where we feel guilty, ashamed, confused, and lost. Thus we do not give him a chance to be with us where we feel most alone.

Christmas is the renewed invitation not to be afraid and to let him--whose love is greater than our own hearts and minds can comprehend--be our companion..."

- Henri Nouwen, Gracias

Thanksgiving weekend with Mary...

2009-11-29T17:07:00.006-05:00

Mary came out to visit for Thanksgiving weekend! We had a delightful time together.

Our weekend project was painting blocks of colors (the orange from my bathroom, green from my bedroom, and purple from my kitchen) on a wall in my office...

The finished product:

We also did some Christmas decorating in my apartment...

It was fabulous to spend some quality time together, and I'm looking forward to going home at Christmas! :)

Gather us in...

2009-11-12T22:02:00.002-05:00

I've thought before about the concept of free will, and how God must be frustrated when we make bad choices...commonly pondered things by Reformed folk, right? Yesterday, I was thinking along a similar vein, but more along the lines of how it must grieve God when we choose to linger in mess when there is so much more for us. But when we're in the mess, it's hard to see anything except clutter or chaos all around. I was sitting with one of our teens, and she has a lot of things going on--some brought on by her own choices, others brought on by no fault of her own. I had this moment where I sat there, wanting so badly to be able to protect her from the hurt, to challenge her to consider something more, and to help her trust--really, to just draw her close. I kept thinking of the song "Gather Us In," which we sang sometimes at Calvin, so I haven't heard it for a couple of years. The idea of God drawing us near and holding us close is so comforting to me. I think God stirs in us to be that comfort to each other too, and I pray we can share that safe and stable love with our kids and teens.

-----
We are the young - our lives are a mystery,
we are the old - who yearn for your face.
We have been sung throughout all of history,
called to be light to the whole human race.
Gather us in - the rich and the haughty,
gather us in - the proud and the strong.
Give us a heart so meek and so lowly,
give us the courage to enter the song...

Not in the dark of buildings confining,
not in some heaven, light years away,
but here in this place, the new light is shining;
now is the Kingdom, now is the day.
Gather us in - and hold us forever,
gather us in - and make us your own.
Gather us in - all peoples together,
fire of love in our flesh and our bone...
"Gather Us In" -by Marty Haugen.

Fall Fun...

2009-11-09T09:32:00.004-05:00

I love fall...

The Hoboken Kids Halloween Parade, with Andrea and the girl-ies... :)

Aylah, the bumble-bee...

Macy, the flower...

Weekend in Washington DC...

View from the top of the Washington Monument...

Hanging out with Austin...

And now the countdown to Thanksgiving is officially rolling. Mary is coming to visit soon! :)

Nudity necessitates "evacuation..."

2009-10-27T09:12:00.002-04:00

I was sitting in the sanctuary yesterday afternoon during the After School Center, browsing through Writers Inc., preparing a lesson on writing. There were also approximately 30 children in the room, being assisted with their homework by their teenage tutors. Things were humming along, and it was around 5:20--only 25 minutes remained until dismissal.

Greg is a high school senior, and one of our team leaders on staff (highest leadership position). He walked up to me with a goofy expression on his face.

"Deborah. We just brought the rec class inside." He paused. (The rec class had been playing basketball in our parking lot.)

"Okay," I said, "did it start raining?"

"No." Another pause, accompanied by raised eyebrows, a funny grin and grimace. "See, there's this guy on the sidewalk. And he's naked..."

"What???" I asked, already laughing.

Greg was also laughing, as he explained. Apparently this clothing-less man showed up, wandering around the sidewalk, right outside New City. The staff did a great job of immediately ushering our kids inside, and someone on our block must have called the police. By the time I peeked outside to see the commotion, there were 3 police cars and an ambulance blocking our corner. The man was covered with a trenchcoat of some sort (I was quite grateful not to have personally witnessed the nudity).

About this time, parents start rolling in to pick up their kids. At least the nudity was over, but there was still certainly a scene on the street. I stayed in the foyer to greet parents and assure them that we brought the kids inside and all was well in the After School Center.

Life in Jersey City--never a dull moment! Living in the city means you need to have a ready-for-anything type of attitude, which I try to maintain. But entire nudity on the sidewalk right outside New City was not something I was prepared for. Fortunately, that means that it is not a typical experience! Here's to hoping that today is less eventful...

Retreats!

2009-08-31T21:29:00.002-04:00

It seems to be retreat season at New City. Last week, our new teen staff for this year of After School Center was together for a training retreat. We have a big staff this year--32 teens--and many of them are freshman and sophomores. I am prayerful that their year at New City will be a stretching, growing, and encouraging one!
Today was the first day of our adult staff retreat, and we did a lot of reflecting and brainstorming. Tomorrow is day 2, where we'll get into some of the details more fully. And on Wednesday, I'm leaving with a group of three teen girls to go on a retreat to a horse farm in Virginia. I'm really excited to take these girls--they are fabulous--and to be able to share something that I love so much with them. I hope that it is a meaningful experience for each of them!
In the midst of these things, After School Center enrollment and preparations continue, and I am doing my best to get things in order for a new year. Our first day in September 14, so it is right around the corner.
I also moved to a new apartment over the weekend, so that was of course a project. I'm now living in a great 1 bedroom apartment by myself, but in a house that my friends just bought, so they live on the first two floors and I'm on the top floor. Our house is in the same neighborhood, just a few blocks away from my old apartment. I've enjoyed unpacking, organizing, and deciding how to arrange things. But it's certainly added to the busyness of these few weeks!
Please pray for peace and calm in the midst of such busy weeks. Pray for our teens, as they begin a new employment season. And for our kids, as they start a new school year, and a new season at After School...

Michigan Summer Vacation...

2009-08-21T22:34:00.007-04:00

Here are lots of photographs from the fabulous week I spent with my family in Michigan... :)

Monday and Tuesday--an adventure with Mary...
Grace Adventures' Paradise Ranch:

Sleeping Bear Dunes, bright and sunny the first day:
Not-so-sunny, the second day, but remaining beautiful:
Back at the Ranch, for another ride:

Wednesday--back in Hamilton...
Visiting Crane's Orchard for lunch with Mom and Dad, Ruth, and Grandpa:

Thursday--Laketown Beach and campfire at home...

Saturday--Family get-together with the Strabbing side...
Grandpa and all of his great-grandkids...

The family, in TimberTown... :)

It was so good to be home! I am glad to be back in Jersey City too--another place that is home to me. I did a lot of planning/prep for After School this past week, and next week we have a teen staff training retreat, which I'm excited about. I'm also moving to a new apartment at the end of next week, so it'll be a busy one. And the count-down to After School is in full swing--first day is Monday, September 14th...

Summer Camp Photographs

2009-07-31T16:26:00.001-04:00

See a photo album of Summer Camp photos here...

Mourning, and hope...

2009-07-21T17:34:00.005-04:00

Jersey City mourns the loss of Detective Marc DiNardo. He passed away this morning, after being shot during Thursday morning's shoot-out. His legacy continues through his wife and three children, all under the age of 5. Please keep this family in prayer, as they mourn and grieve the loss of a husband, father, and friend.

At New City, we continue to press on, sharing a message of hope and peace, challenging children and young people that their choices are important and that choosing to live a life "God's Way" is the most important choice you can make.

The mural, in the front of the sanctuary...

Rap and song class...6th and 7th graders ("Asher"), jumping and rapping the Books of the Bible rap...

Morning preaching time, 1st and 2nd graders ("Gad"), listening carefully...

Art class...4th and 5th graders ("Levi")...

Tempest and Eileen, 3rd graders, in "Judah"...

Self-portraits with teen staff...me and Greg...
Trudy and me...
Please keep praying! We ask for God's grace to cover our city, this ministry and our lives...

Great Big Love...

2009-07-17T16:15:00.005-04:00

Today, this was the "Voice of the Day" quote in the Sojourner's daily email:

Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared. -Henri Nouwen.

I am sitting quietly, thinking about these words, and their timeliness. Yesterday, violence seemed to prevail in our streets. Shots were first fired around 5am on a street a block away from New City. I was walking to New City around 6:30am, ready to begin preparations for the day of Summer Camp. But I was only to find the streets barricaded with police cars and officers. I walked around the neighborhood and discovered there was no way to get to New City since all of the surrounding streets were blocked. Police cars and officers were everywhere, with police tape stretched across the streets and flares set out in the middle of the streets. Not really knowing what else to do, I sat on the sidewalk in front of a corner store and waited. I heard shots fired--later to find out that these were the shots that took the lives of the two suspects, one of the suspects being a 22 year-old woman.
I kept waiting, unable to get to New City, and feeling nervous about the prospect of our kids beginning to gather in the midst of danger. I explained to the officers that our Summer Camp was scheduled to begin soon and that our kids would start showing up within an hour and a half or so. I called Pastor Trevor, and we decided to notify our Summer Camp families that we were postponing the day's start. I pulled out my database and started making phone calls to parents. After making many calls, the officers opened up the street I was on, and I was able to walk down the block into New City. I kept calling parents, and by the time I was getting to the end of the list, many people had already heard as it was breaking news across the city, particularly since five police officers were shot. Our teenagers started arriving for work, and some kids who we had been unable to reach also began to gather. I stood at the gate and greeted parents and kids, ushering them inside, where our mural in the front of the sanctuary says "Choose! God's way or My way."
Despite the crowd that was gathering on the next block to look at the crime scene, and the strong continued police presence, and then the droves of media staff who swarmed about, 59 kids gathered at Summer Camp. I continued to stand by the gate all morning, greeting, and trying to be a positive voice of peace and reassurance for both kids and parents. Though we started late, we got back into our regular groove and our "Opening Program" (time of worship, preaching, and games) began.
I kept standing on the sidewalk, in front of New City's gate. Across the street, police, bystanders, and media continued to swarm. Sirens continued periodically, and I had an erie sense as I looked around our neighborhood, and a street I have walked down dozens of times, now heavily guarded by police.
But there was something else too, even more powerful than the scene that I looked out into. Inside New City, our kids sang, chanted, and danced before the Lord. Our Summer Camp theme is "Choose!," based on Proverbs, and the kids called out, with strength in their voices, a rap about trusting in the Lord and choosing wisdom instead of folly. Their voices carried out, reaching my ears outside on the sidewalk. The worship continued, as the kids sang "Great Big Love." The song talks about God's great big love. Overwhelmed by the mornings events, and by the presence of the Holy Spirit in the midst of great darkness and violence, my eyes filled up with tears.

Ours is a God of Great Big LOVE.

The media tells the story of the horrible violence that took place in our neighborhood yesterday. The local paper headline this morning described a "bloodbath," and one news report I read yesterday described our neighborhood as one that is known for being violent and drug-infested. But there were other things happening yesterday in Jersey City. Across the street, we gathered with young people in worship and teaching about a different way of life--one of love, peace and hope.
I find it greatly discouraging when people talk about our neighborhood as a "bad" one, with words painting a bleak and hopeless picture. This is so frustrating to me because it misses hope and beauty. There is Hope! And there is the beauty of the Image of God in each person in our neighborhood!
Yesterday was a day of great sadness and fear, but there was more going on than just those things. There were also reminders that God is at work in the world and in our city, that He is at work at New City, and in the lives of our kids, teens, and families. The violence did not stop our voices from rising in worship. It did not stop our testimony that we can have Hope because of the Great Big Love of a God who sent his beloved child into the world to save it from violence and darkness.
Earlier this week during our teen staff devotions, we sang one of my favorite songs, "All Who Are Thirsty," and these words continue to be my prayer. Please pray these words with me, asking for the Lord's presence, peace, and hope...

All who are thirsty,
All who are weak,
Come to the fountain,
Dip your heart in the stream of life,
Let the pain and the sorrow,
Be washed away,
In the waves of Your mercy
As deep cries out to deep,

We sing,
Come, Lord Jesus, come
Come, Lord Jesus, come
Come, Lord Jesus, come

Holy Spirit, come
Holy Spirit, come
Holy Spirit, come

Summer Camp!

2009-07-13T19:18:00.002-04:00

July is here, and that means Summer Camp is in full swing. Today marked the beginning of Week 2. It's going really well so far. The teen staff is great, and the kids are fun and are having fun.

I had a moment today watching one of our 3rd graders laugh and smile with one of his counselors. Last week, on his first day, his grandmother came to drop him off with his siblings, and he refused to come inside. The grandma came in and told me she was going to take him home because she couldn't get him to even enter the parking lot. I asked if it was alright if I went out and talked with him. I introduced myself and talked to him for a minute, telling him all the wonderful things that happen at Summer Camp. I told him I thought it'd be really cool if he tried Summer Camp, just for one day, so then at least he could say that he tried it. He slowly wiped off his tears and came inside with me. I introduced him to one of our particularly welcoming and encouraging counselors and asked her to keep an eye out on him. I checked in with him a couple of times throughout the day and he said he was having fun. At the end of the first day, he came out and told me he was really glad that he stayed. And today he was laughing and smiling all day long, which in turn made me really happy too...

June!

2009-06-27T10:11:00.003-04:00

I can't believe that the month of June is already coming to a close!

The last few weeks have been busy, though busy with a different flavor from After School. I enjoy my summer hours of starting earlier in the morning and getting out earlier at night. Last week, New City hosted the Job Fair, where we hire our teen staff for Summer Camp and After School Center. It is a three-day event, to help us hire staff, but also to give all the students who attend some concrete skills in areas like resume writing and interviewing. I helped out with a lot of the details, and though it was a great event, it was pretty exhausting. Following the end of Job Fair, the adult staff has a meeting to make the hiring decisions. There were many more students than we could hire, and some of the decisions were particularly difficult. But I think we hired some really great young people, and am looking forward to getting to know them in the coming year.

Earlier this month, we had a dinner to recognize the seniors involved at New City...

Last weeek, Ruth visited Jersey City, so I took a personal day to explore the city a bit with her. It was lovely. Even though it's been in my backyard for over a year and a half now, I hadn't visited the Statue of Liberty until then.

We also went to a SummerStage concert in Central Park, to hear the Indigo Girls. They've been on my list of big artists I'd like to see live for a long time, so I was really excited. It was a great show--they are incredible musicians.

I have no plans this weekend! It is glorious. I've been go, go, go for the last several weeks, so I'm pretty excited to rest this weekend. The coming week will be a busy one, with two New City overnights. Tuesday night will be a lock-in with the teens in leadership positions for Summer Camp, and then we leave with the full teen staff on Wednesday for an overnight camping trip. I'm pretty excited about it, as it was one of my summer highlights last year. We have Friday off to observe the 4th of July, so that is also excellent, and I'm taking the train to an ocean town in Jersey to visit a friend from college. Much to look forward to... :)

Happy!

2009-06-14T20:13:00.002-04:00

Ruth is on her way! ETA, tomorrow afternoon. I am very excited...

Celebrate Summer!

2009-06-08T22:24:00.005-04:00

After School Center is over and thus my summer has officially begun. And there was much rejoicing... :)

Last week was incredibly intense. I worked most of the hours that I was awake and had dreams about New City while I was sleeping. Eek. The ASC performance on Thursday night went really well. I think the kids had a blast and parents seemed to also enjoy themselves. The last day of ASC on Friday went significantly less-well, including some boys getting into an altercation that resulted in a dented wall, and a kid puking all over the foyer (amidst parents picking up their kids, the formerly-fighting boys sitting waiting for their parents to arrive, and people filling out Summer Camp enrollment forms). Cleaning chunky vomit off the floor is one of the less-glamorous parts of my job. But no one got hurt (beyond the throw-up) and eventually it was over...I'm sure that in a few days I will be missing the kids, but at the moment, I feel quite free indeed. :)

On Saturday, I went to Dorney Park (an amusement park in Pennsylvania) with some of our teen staff. We had a blast. It was definitely the best staff-outing we've had in my short time at New City. It went off without a hitch, as well, except for my driving abilities (or lack there-of). It was a beautiful drive (trees are nice), but I was a bit edgy due to the facts that I hate driving full size vans and that my passengers were of a slightly loud and distracting nature (note that I do love them dearly). At one point, a jolly rancher was flung from the back seat, hitting me in the back of the head. The only real mishap of the trip was when we were pulling out a gas station and I didn't see where Josh went with the first van. Instead of pulling off to figure things out (like a normal person would do), I plowed ahead on this unknown road in this strange little town, with no signs for 78 West. After several minutes, when I finally talked to Josh, he pointed out that the road was going in a circle. I was confused because we had been going straight for quite a while at that point. My passengers were not exceptionally helpful, as at this point an altercation had broken out with several people grabbing, poking and hitting each other. Eventually, though, we found our way back to the original gas station, and it became clear that I missed a left in the road. How do you get confused about which direction you came from, and miss a circle-road? Who even knows, though clearly I am capable of all sorts of surprises... :)

I led worship at City Grace yesterday morning, and then went on a mission throughout all of NYC (well, just Greenwich Village and downtown Manhattan) in search of shoes for Aylah's birthday (she's turning two tomorrow!). Of course, the ones I liked the most were $94. How this can be possible, I do not know. We're talking about shoes that are like 5 inches long. Almost one hundred dollars? Seriously? After going to every store on Broadway between the village and downtown, I eventually took my gift-search in a different direction. And I'm satisfied with the result. One of the teenagers commented last week that Aylah and I are best friends. I don't think he was that far off the mark...I have a pretty big place in my heart for this little girl. :)

So this week I am on a cleaning and organizing rampage in my office. Summer Camp registration has also now begun, so I'm answering lots of questions. I'm interviewing a couple of college students tomorrow who are interested in doing a work-study internship at New City in the fall. I am loving the change in pace, and am really excited for the Job Fair, which is coming up next week. I'm also really excited for my sister, Ruth, to arrive, a week from today! She's doing an internship at a church about 30 minutes away from Jersey City and is coming to spend a few days with me before she starts. It will be quite fabulous indeed! :)

It's a big week...

2009-06-02T08:10:00.002-04:00

Pray for us this week, please! It's the last week of After School Center. I can't believe another school year has flown by already! On Thursday night, we will celebrate the year with the Summer Celebration After School Center Performance. It's a big event with a full meal, the kids performing, and lots of prizes and awards being given to our students. I'm really excited about it, as well as swamped in the preparations for it. I'll certainly post photos of the evening--hoping for a really fabulous night!

We're very much in a season shift, as we finish with only 4 more days of After School, and then host the three-day Job Fair (event where we hire all the teen staff for Summer Camp and After School next year), and a camping trip/training retreat for the Summer Camp staff. Pray for me this week with the event prep, and for Josh, who is working on the Job Fair and staff training preparations, and for Will, who is the Summer Camp Director, and is working on lots of Summer Camp preparations (first day of Summer Camp, July 6). It's a really busy time, but also an exciting one, as we get ready to welcome summer in force. :)

Spring Production 2009 Photos

2009-04-27T20:06:00.008-04:00

New City Kids - Spring Production 2009 - Benefit Concert featuring Sara Groves...

(photos courtesy of a New City volunteer photographer...)

Lucille and Greg, Event MC's (and New City teen staff)...

After School Center kids perform as the Kids' Choir...

Me and PT - I did my best to keep up with his crazy moves in front of the kiddos... :)

A dance, choreographed to a Sara Groves song...

Part of the Xchange crew...

Lucille and Sara Groves...

A fabulous night... :)

Hope is contagious...

2009-04-25T11:45:00.003-04:00

This week, the violence continued in the streets of Jersey City. A teenager was shot and killed--some of our kids knew him. Another teen was stabbed in a park a couple blocks from my apartment. I type even now with the sounds of sirens blaring on the streets.

But.

PT (Pastor Trevor), the director of New City, sent me an email this morning, and my favorite line in it is "hope is contagious."

Last night was New City's annual spring production. This year, it was a benefit concert featuring Sara Groves. New City was the opening set. The kids and teens were amazing, simply amazing. I coordinated a Kid's Choir with 26 of the After School Center students. The kids came on stage with energy and enthusiasm, big smiles and shy mannerisms in front of the crowd of 700 people. They sang their hearts out. When our part was done, we sat in seats reserved for us in the back to watch the rest of the New City set, featuring the teen-led worship band and the Xchange crew, who leads the Friday night outreach to teens. It was all spectacular.

When I sat in my seat in the back, Trudy, one of the teenagers I'm especially close with, came and sat by me. She gave me a big hug and said, "Ms Deborah, I was so proud to see the kids up there--it made me cry a little bit." It made me cry a little bit too... The worship team led a song called "God is a Good God," and the bridge has a section saying "clap your hands now, come on and wave those hands now." The audience put their hands in the air, waving them in the presence of the Lord. Keep in mind that the audience was predominantly Christian Reformed folks from the suburbs...now I'm not bashing them, just commenting that it's a worship style that isn't typically the most demonstrative. But in that moment, people worshiped vibrantly. Trudy looked at me in surprise--I was surprised too. "Look at all these people put their hands up!" I said, and we laughed with joy a bit, and we waved our hands too. It was beautiful.

Sara Groves was delightful. As we filed backstage with the kids after the set, she greeted each of them, thanking them and congratulating them. She told them they were the best opening act she's ever had. They were so excited.

PT emailed me this morning, repeating Sara Groves' words that the energy and smile on the kids' faces is contagious. Hope is contagious. So is hate, doubt, apathy, and anger...but Hope conquers these things, and it too spreads.

Our God is a good God. Yes, He is...

"Ministry of the Week..."

2009-04-21T09:39:00.001-04:00

It's Sara Groves benefit concert week...check us out as the featured Ministry of the Week for STAR, 99.1 FM. ;)

Also...meet Macy...

2009-04-19T20:39:00.003-04:00

This is Josh and Andrea's beautiful youngest daughter, Macy Edelle...
Macy and I spent a bit of time together on Friday while Andrea was at the doctor with my good buddy, Aylah--Macy's big sister. A couple of the teenagers came over while I was watching Macy and they gave me a bit of a hard time because she was seemingly unhappy...and I was failing in attempts to satisfy her still-unknown desires. I told them I wasn't taking it personally, acknowledging my lack of infant experience. Still, they pointed out that Aylah seems to like me a lot more than Macy. Thanks, guys, but I'm going to work on winning Macy over too. ;)

"You Never Let Go..."

2009-04-19T14:02:00.006-04:00

We sang this song at church this morning, and it's been rolling through my mind since
the service (listen to it here).  I find the words very powerful, as I think about
their truth in my life, and how it's this message that I want to share with the kids
and teens.  My favorite line is the one about the end to these troubles...



"You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught
in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back, I know You are near.

And I will fear no evil,
For my God is with me.
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go,
In every high and every low
O no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me.

And I can see a light
that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end
to these troubles, But until that day comes,
We'll live to know You here on the earth.

Oh no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go,
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on,
And there will be an end to these troubles,
but until that day comes,
Still I will praise You
Oh no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go,
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me...

Brave? Or Crazy...?

2009-04-15T16:38:00.003-04:00

Happy Spring Break!

I am quite enjoying a week of not being responsible for children! I love the children, don't get me wrong, but a bit of break is appreciated...

I wanted to get out of the city and to explore somewhere new, so I took a bus to Baltimore for a couple days. So here I am--Baltimore, MD. I've never been to Baltimore prior to this and it seems to be quite a nice city. That is, the small portion of it I have seen.

The woman sitting next to me on the bus from Manhattan to here had a lot to say, with little regard to my attempt to listen to my iPod. I feel like headphones clearly communicate that an individual does not wish to engage in conversation at that particular moment, but she was not correctly interpreting my communication. After a few minutes, I just put my iPod away. Among other things, I learned that her daughter studied German in college and her son is studying finance. She asked if I was going to visit friends in Baltimore. I said no, actually, I don't know anyone in Baltimore. Oh, she said, seemingly a bit confused. Are you traveling with someone then?, she asked while looking around. I again answered, no, I'm on my own. She made quite the puzzled face at me and asked why I was going then. I smiled and shrugged. I told her I like exploring and that I work in a highly social job so spending a couple days by myself sounded like a great break. Hmm, she said and then added, well, you must be brave or crazy. But good for you, she said. I wish I had had the guts you do when I was your age so I adventured and explored, she said, slowly shaking her head.

Brave or crazy...the line between the two is rather blurry, don't you think? I actually can't say that I feel particularly brave or crazy. I mean, it's not as if I've traveled around the world to jump out of a plane by myself before rock climbing in a volcano or something. I'm just chilling (and working) in my hotel room, and from a sweet coffeeshop I discovered. I've gotten a lot of planning done for After School Center next year, and so that is exciting. I have a lot of the ideas that have been rolling around in my head down on paper now, so that is helpful.

I visited the Walters Art Museum earlier this afternoon. I spent the most time sitting in a small gallery of pieces from the Netherlands. It was a nice little moment, as I thought about culture and heritage. I learned that the Dutch were among the first to make popular the family portrait. The museum had a huge painting of a Dutch family, and the guide I was reading said that family portraits became popular in the Netherlands as a status symbol to highlight not just wealth, but also the importance of family. I found this rather interesting, and thought about how family portraits (photographs these days) have continued to be popular in our modern era as well. There was also a really interesting painting of a Dutch church. It was actually originally a Catholic church during Spain's occupation of the Netherlands, but after the Dutch established independence, became a Protestant church. And the painter depicted the changes this brought about. The huge walls that at one time were beautiful frescoes had been painted over with stark white paint. The painter depicted the congregation listening intently to the sermon. The focal point of the painting was the preacher holding up a large Bible. The guide indicated that this is a deep theological statement, as the Reformed tradition began and refused to allow images in a place of worship because they were seen as distracting, with acknowledgment of images being a form of idolatry. Instead, the Word must be of utmost importance. I also found this very interesting, particularly as I think of how remnants of this still influence the Reformed tradition today...

In other news, it has been raining in Baltimore throughout the entirety of my visit. This has dissuaded me somewhat from extensively exploring the city. However, following my visit to the art museum, I began my search for a Baltimore coffee mug. I love coffee. And I love coffee mugs. And I love traveling. So I have a little tradition of buying a mug whenever I visit a new place. I have come to the conclusion that Baltimorians (is that correct terminology?) are not that proud of their city. Or maybe I'm just used to NYC, where everything says NYC. I searched high and low throughout any gifty type shop I could find, asking around about where I could find a Baltimore mug. Most store employees just looked at my skeptically before shrugging and saying they haven't really seen anything like that. Seriously--it's not the unusual of a request, is it? I shall continue my quest tomorrow before leaving town. There must be a mug in this city somewhere. And I shall valiantly attempt to find it.

For now, I shall continue my reading of "The Development of the Person," while considering the importance of child psychology and development...

Absence...

2009-04-04T20:23:00.004-04:00

As of last it seems I have been lacking in initiative to update my blog regularly. Yup...

I'm looking forward to Easter weekend, and the week of spring break that follows. I'm going to Baltimore for a couple of days, to retreat and relax and rest, and to go to the aquarium.

There's not a lot to tell, or so it feels anyway. I'm pretty much in a good rhythm of hanging out with the kiddos at After School Center every weekday, and sleeping, reading, and watching Numbers on the weekends... :)

On Thursday morning, I was riding the bus to work and saw one of the 5th graders who comes to ASC on the street. Though it was a couple stops before arriving at New City, I pushed the button to get off the bus. He was happy to see me and gave me a hug out on the sidewalk in front of a shop that I think is owned by a relative. "Why aren't you in school?," I asked. He grinned at me and told me that he was sick. "Do you have homework," I said. He kept grinning and said no. "Okay. I'm going to New City and coming back with books and an assignment for you to work on today." He laughed a bit but said he was bored so he'd do it. I walked to New City and pulled some books off the shelf and wrote some reading questions, and then headed back to the shop. He ran up to me again. A couple hours later, he strolled into New City to drop off his completed assignment. I shook my head at him and told him he needs to go to school.

I was distraught to see him on the street again yesterday. He misses a lot of school. He told me he was still sick, and I shook my head again. He looked quite alright to me, and certainly was not in bed recovering. I think there's a lot going on in his young life, and his winning smile has found a place in my heart. Hopefully he takes himself to school next week.

I suppose it is indeed the weekend, and thus I must watch Numbers. Actually, Amy and I have already watched a couple episodes today. So really, I must continue to watch Numbers. It's needed for my mental well-being. Congratulations to all MSU fans. I'm happy to report that my bracket has me sitting in 3rd place in the New City group competition. Can't say that I've watched too many games (any?)...

Attachment theory...

2009-03-03T09:07:00.003-05:00

So yesterday was our first snow day of the year. It was lovely! I had a meeting with one of my co-workers at my favorite Cuban cafe around the corner from my apartment building, and did some work from my computer while laying on the couch. It was fabulous indeed.

I bought coffee from this shop in Greenwich Village after church on Sunday. I was reminded of the abruptness and sometimes rudeness of New Yorkers in the experience. When you walk in, there is a long counter with huge sacks of coffee beans. There are also bags and scoops available, no sign giving instructions, and no sales people making any sort of indication as to what was going on. I meandered throughout the beans for a while, also trying to watch and observe to see if I was supposed to help myself or wait for assistance. Since there wasn't a clear answer, I decided to go for it and picked up a scoop. I guess that's what you had to do to get service, because suddenly a woman from the back corner of the store came running over, basically yelling, "no, no, no! Put that down! We get them for you." I relinquished my grip on the scoop, and sheepishly said, "oh." So low marks on customer service, but the coffee is fabulous, so worth it, I suppose.

I've been reading like a crazy person lately. I used to be more organized in my reading habits and only read one book at a time, forcing myself to finish it before starting the next one. But apparently I've thrown that to the wind and at present, am in process of reading four books. I've become quite interested in child and youth development these days. I spent a while sitting on the floor at Barnes and Noble last weekend in front of the child psychology section. I bought a book called "The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds," by John Bowlby. He is credited as being the father of attachment theory, which comes up fairly regularly in conversations with one of my co-workers, who studied social work. It's quite fascinating to me. I love reading about something and then thinking about how it may or may not apply to the kids I know and love. If your curiosity is piqued, you should check this out... :)

2009-02-28T15:02:00.003-05:00

Whoa--hold up.

That's kind of what ran through my head last night.

It was a fabulous evening. After work, I headed into the city to meet up with Amy, who was already there. We went to a bar/club for a concert I was really excited about--Griffin House. I was expecting kind of a chilled-out show, since he's got the whole singer-songwriter thing going on. But the venue was pretty swanky (as in, a woman works in the bathroom to turn on the faucet for you, squirt soap into your hands and give you paper towel). The show had much more of a rock feel than a folk feel. I mean, it was cool--the lights were sweet, and the very interesting crowd provided an entertaining people-watching opportunity. Food and drinks were expensive, but good, and it was fun to hang out. We laughed a lot and the music was good. It was a fabulous evening, as I said.

We got off the train in downtown Jersey City and debated getting a cab to take us home when a bus pulled up. People refer to these buses by a whole host of names. I've heard them called the dollar vans, the chicken bus, or the immi. Both of the last two names are derogatory ethnic/racial references, so I usually just try to avoid calling them anything, I suppose. The buses are cheap and run frequently. So we flagged this one down. As we walked up to it, I noted to Amy my approval of the woman driver (usually these buses are driven only by men). It seemed like a good moment to comment on gender equity.

So we got in. It was well after midnight. Instead of the usual loud salsa music blaring, on this bus, the radio was tuned in quietly in the background. There were two little boys asleep in the first seat. We paused, commenting on their cuteness, and then sat down. About the time we were halfway home, one of the little boys woke up crying. It then became apparent that his mother was driving the bus. She reached behind her to comfort him, and to wake up the girl in the seat across from the boys--the older sister, maybe a ten year old. She rubbed her eyes and reached out to her brother, before curling back up on the seat for more sleep herself.

That was the moment where, "whoa, hold up" ran through my mind. Amy and I both felt it--we were immediately quiet, and didn't speak again until we got off the bus. It's not really fair for me to infer the circumstances, but all sorts of scenarios as to why a woman had to be driving a bus in the middle of the night with her babies sleeping in the seat behind her ran through my mind. I thanked her and handed her my $1.25 and got off the bus.

I was very much aware of the fairly substantial amount of money I had just spent on concert tickets, drinks, and the records I purchased after the show. This is messed up, I thought, as we climbed the stairs to our apartment. I was still thinking about it when I crawled into bed--thinking about the comfort of my bed, and the kids asleep sitting up in the bus. Maybe the situation wasn't actually dire and it just came across that way because of the particular moment that we witnessed. I don't know. But it was striking. And it's been on my mind throughout the day today as well. I don't have well formulated insights from my ponderings at this point, and likely won't. It was just one of those moments. Whoa. Hold up. This isn't the way it's supposed to be...

The latest happenings...

2009-02-14T11:14:00.005-05:00

I would like to go horseback riding. I have come to this realization (hardly earth-shattering) after talking to my sister who spent last weekend at the ranch where we both worked as counselors. Also, last night I super-glued the legs back on one of my porcelain horses. The "pretty pony collection," so proclaimed my neighbor and my roommate (were they mocking me? hmm...) :)

We also just discovered that I inadvertently super-glued our scissors shut.

Happy Valentines Day, Presidents Day, and whatever it was yesterday that resulted in Jersey City public schools being closed and thus, no after school.

Amy and I visited the Brownstone Diner and Pancake Factory yesterday (http://www.brownstonediner.com/). Each and every reader of this post should come to Jersey City to experience the pancake goodness. We also ventured into the neighboring city of Bayonne with our broken vacuum cleaner (my room has not been vacuumed since August--that was a long, long time ago). An unimpressed vacuum-cleaner-man ordered a replacement part. We can pick it up on Monday.

In the coming weeks, I am going to a Griffin House concert, as well as to a Missy Higgins concert. And The Decemberists are coming in June. I love this town.

I just subscribed to Sojourner's Magazine.

I just purchased a few candles. Perhaps an excessive amount. I like candles.

I just finished reading "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society."

That's all, really...

Sara Groves...

2009-02-11T07:04:00.002-05:00

New City Kids benefit concert, April 24, 7.30pm -- Sara Groves
Cornerstone Church, Wykhoff, NJ.
Tickets at newcitykidschurch.com or by calling 201.915.9896

:)

2009-02-04T21:59:00.003-05:00

Happy Wednesday night! Usually when I reach the end of a Wednesday, I feel confident that two more days of After School are do-able, and a weekend of rest is in sight. These are nice thoughts.

Life has been a bit on the hectic side these days. The week started off with a 7:30am phone call Monday morning from a tearful teenager whose grandfather had just passed away. I was glad that she called, and spent some time with her Monday evening following After School. I can relate to her grief, after going home to Michigan just two weeks ago for my own grandfather's funeral. Family dynamics, life, and death are all on my mind these days too. She and I talked for a while this afternoon as well, and she is very much on my heart.

Today included a strange and somewhat distressing conversation/incident in our foyer area. One of our 5th grade boys hasn't been coming to After School for the last couple of weeks. I've seen him at School 17 a couple of times, and he told me that he's been staying for their after school program. Fine. Except that today, his grandmother came in, very distraught, because he has been telling her that he's been coming to us (when coming to After School, he's been allowed to walk home, so she doesn't come in regularly to pick him up). In fact, he's been telling quite elaborate lies. About the time that I was brought out into the foyer to do some situation-resolution, he was describing how when he was at After School yesterday, he got in trouble and had to sit in time-out for two hours. This is most certainly not the least bit true--he didn't even enter the building yesterday, and if he was in that much trouble, we would have just called home and sent him home. And Tuesdays are the afternoons I staff the reception desk in the foyer, so I definitely have a handle on what happened in that space yesterday. Not to mention the part where Daija, our After School Center Assistant Director, had already pulled out our attendance records by the time I got there, noting that the last day he attended was January 20th. He picked the wrong story to tell and got caught, big time. He's in a whole heap of trouble with his grandmother, and I feel like I want to do some follow-up as well, as it's kind of alarming that he's been lying, and unaccounted for, for some time now.

I spent some time in the Stories class this afternoon. I've been pulling out of the class a bit, as our teen staff has been rising to the occasion of taking it over. One of the teachers in particular is really investing it it, and it's really cool to see her leading, and learning herself as we go. This week we're reading from North America, and yesterday's book was on snow geese in Canada. After reading the book, the kids played pin-the-wing on the goose. They loved it. Geese are not overly common birds for a Jersey City child, and today when the teacher was reviewing yesterday's book and activity, one of the little girl's couldn't remember the word "goose." She referred to them as "the honking birds." I appreciated that...

My bed beckons. There is a whole lot of sickness going around, and I'm doing my best to stay healthy this time around. I've been sleeping a lot and my hands are cracking from the cold, as well as from so frequently being washed. Hopefully I make it through the rest of the winter staying reasonably well... :)

From "The Dance of Life"

2009-01-18T21:15:00.003-05:00

"Our life is a short opportunity to say 'yes' to God's love. Our death is a full coming home to that love...

When, indeed, Jesus came to offer us full communion with God, by making us partakers of his death and resurrection, what else can we desire but to leave our mortal bodies and so reach the final goal of our existence? The only reason for staying in this valley of tears can be to continue the mission of Jesus who has sent us into the world as his Father sent him into the world. Looking from above, life is a short, often painful, mission, full of occasions to do fruitful work for God's kingdom, and death is the open door that leads in the hall of celebration where the king himself will serve us...

It's a joyful vision of life and death. As long as we are in the body, let us care well for our bodies so that we can bring the joy and peace of God's kingdom to those we meet on our journey. But when the time has come for our dying and death, let us rejoice that we can go home and be united with the One who calls us the beloved..."

~Henri Nouwen.

Office and Stories...

2009-01-13T18:11:00.006-05:00

A few photos of new things at New City...

First, our completed foyer renovations include the addition of offices for Josh and I, plus much better space for greeting parents and handling kids who need a moment away from the group...I am quite happy about all this and here's my office... :)
----
And here are a few photos from our Around the World Stories class, which is off to a fabulous beginning. This is Lucille, one of the teen staff who teaches the class--she's fabulous...

This week, we're learning about Africa. Today, we read "Anansi," and made a spider web out of yarn...we're sitting in our web...
We had a small group today because there's sickness going around and we were missing a few kids. We love our world map and spend time finding new places on it everyday.

I'll work on getting some more stories photos in the next couple of weeks... It's very fun! :)

The best of 2008...

2009-01-02T10:57:00.012-05:00

Not to be outdone by the Today Show or CNN, here's a list of some things I loved in 2008... :)

Books:
3.) One Hen by Katie Smith Milway. I've become particularly interested in children's books this year, and this one is amazing. It's set in Ghana and tells the story of a boy who begins a micro-lending venture, bettering the lives of his family and neighbors. It is absolutely beautiful...

2.) The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. President-elect Obama's book is inspiring and hopeful. I look forward to his inauguration...

1.) The Shack by William P Young. This book brings about a fascinating consideration of the Trinity. I loved it...

Concerts:

3.) August, 2008 at Weehawken Park, NJ -- The Wailin' Jenny's. I've listened to this trio for a few years now and this was the first time I had seen them live. It was an outdoor show, overlooking Manhattan. Beautiful. They played "One Voice" as their encore--one of my favorite songs.

2.) November, 2008 at the Canal Room, NYC -- SlowRunner and William Fitzsimmons. I was unfamiliar with both of these artists going into the show and they blew me away. William Fitzsimmons' song writing is intriguing and powerful.

1.) July, 2008 at the Canal Room, NYC -- Ten out of Tenn. An incredible group of musicians whose love for music and friendship with each other was very evident. The best encore I've ever seen. This is a video from their encore at the end of their show in Chicago. Musicians from this group to check out: Griffin House, Andy Davis, Matthew Perryman Jones, and Katie Herzig...

Photographs:

The theme is time with my family...these photos are from my time home in August. I surprised my parents at Thanksgiving, and am now wrapping up my last vacation of the year, having spent the holidays with my family as well...
I love my sisters...

A couple of words:
"Resilient." When I look back on the year, I am struck by the resiliency I've seen and experienced. Most of this comes from our children and teenagers. In the face of opposition and obstacles, they are resilient. I am unceasingly amazed by them. I have also felt the need to personally stand resiliently, in a year full of transitions, changes, and lots of learning and mistakes...

"Turtle." I was given a new nickname this summer--"the turtle." This stems out of the thought that turtles are very safe animals, and I tend to have safety on my mind when it comes to our kids. What it really speaks to is my love for my co-workers. I have so enjoyed becoming a part of New City's staff over the last year, and am continually encouraged and challenged by them. It's an honor to serve with such an incredible group who love the Lord and are committed to service...

My flight departs tomorrow, bringing me back home to Jersey City. I look forward to seeing what God does in the coming year. Buckle up...

Stories class...

2008-12-31T11:59:00.003-05:00

With fabulous assistance from my mother, I put together curriculum for an "Around the World" stories class for After School. It'll be one of our performing arts/activity classes this quarter, starting next week. I'm really excited about it because I love to read and I love learning about other parts of the world. So I picked books from each continent and our class will consist of a story circle where we read the book and then we'll do an activity either related to the book or that part of the world. When we study North America, we'll read a book about American Indians and then my mom cut out strips of fabric ("deerskin" looking) to make arm bands. When we read and learn about Africa, I'm going to bring in my drum from Ghana and we'll make little drums together. It should be a great time. I'm really passionate about reading because I love it so much, and I hope that we can share that delight with the kids. So this is very exciting to me. :) If you want to participate, I'd love your help! I made a Wish List on Amazon.com with the list of books we'll need for the class. I'm hoping that people will donate a book or two as we compile our library of stories from around the world. If you're interested in helping the library grow, click on the link above and do a little children's book shopping. :) I'll post pictures from the class when we get started. For now, here's a photo of David, one of our kids reading at his tutoring table...

Just call me...

2008-12-26T20:04:00.003-05:00

Dr. Giggles.

You too can find out what Sawyer would nickname you...

I am thoroughly enjoying the 4th season of LOST. Christmas break is lovely... :)

After School Center Christmas...

2008-12-19T18:57:00.002-05:00

I posted some Christmas Performance 2008 photographs on my Facebook...check them out if you get a chance. :)

It was a fabulous evening. I was so proud of the kids, who were adorable, and the teen staff, who were incredible. A really amazing night!

Peace...

2008-12-09T09:58:00.001-05:00

Lead me from death to life,
from falsehood to truth.
Lead me from despair to hope, from fear to trust.
Lead me from hate to love,
from war to peace.
Let peace fill our hearts,
our world, our universe.
Peace, peace, peace.

-Satish Kumar

Thank You...

2008-12-06T11:20:00.000-05:00

"I Thank You for Those Things that are Yet Possible"

Thank You

for work
which engages me in an internal debate
between right and reward
and stretches me toward responsibility
to those who pay for my work,
and those who cannot pay
because they have no work;

for justice
which repairs the devastations of poverty;

for liberty
which extends to the captives of violence;

for healing
which binds up the broken-bodied
and the broken-hearted;

for bread broken
for all the hungry earth;

for good news
of love which is stronger than death;

and for peace
for all to sit under fig trees
and not be afraid;

for my calling...my life.

-Ted Loder

(from "Guide my Feet: Prayers and Meditations for Our Children" by Marian Wright Edelman.)

Surprise!

2008-11-28T14:53:00.003-05:00

I walked into my parents house around 11pm on Wednesday night (after nearly having to spend the night in the Cleveland airport because of delays). My sisters were in on the surprise planning with me, but I was an unexpected arrival for my parents. My mom just looked at me for a few seconds before jumping up to give me a huge hug. We enjoyed a great meal yesterday with family and it'll be just hanging out for the next couple days before flying back on Sunday evening. It's really good to be home...

Mary and I...

Meet Mizael...

2008-11-19T07:55:00.002-05:00

Mizael is in the third grade and attends Public School (PS) 17. He came to After School Center last year. During the spring semester, it became apparent that his reading skills needed significant help and support. Instead of going to a performing arts class, Mizael stayed at his tutoring table for the entire afternoon all spring, finishing his homework, and then reading with his tutor.

I remember one afternoon in particular, as Mizael's tutor came to find me to ask for help. Mizael was sitting with his head on the table, refusing to read any more, saying that he hated it. I sat with him for the rest of the day, coaxing and encouraging, and we took turns reading every other page until we finished the book. By the end of the semester, Mizael's reading ability was definitely improved--thanks to good support from his teachers, at home, and I'd like to think, from us too.

I was sad this fall that Mizael did not re-enroll for After School Center. But then his mom called last week. And he's back. I sat at a tutoring table with him on Monday afternoon. When he finished his homework, I told him he could go to the bookshelf to pick a book to read until the end of tutoring time. When he came back, he opened up the book and looked at me and said, "Ms. Deborah? Do you remember how last year I didn't like to read?" I smiled and nodded, "Yes, I remember." Mizael grinned back at me and said "Well! Now I love to read." We shared a celebratory high-five and I gave him a big hug...

I'm still smiling. A moment worth sharing...

Go vote...

2008-11-04T09:03:00.002-05:00

"You're going to vote, right?" My neighbor greeted me on the street this morning, verifying that I was indeed heading to the elementary school around the corner to vote. "You bet," I told him.

I pass along Ardie's urging to you also--get out today and vote... :)

Also, I ran across this Martin Luther King JR quote this morning, and I think it's powerful:

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death..." MLK JR, 1967.

The "Achievement Gap..."

2008-10-23T18:52:00.002-04:00

I went to a fascinating conference on Tuesday morning at the New University in Manhattan, entitled, “Strengthening Schools by Strengthening Families.” The topic was a study of New York City schools, finding that in high poverty neighborhoods, children are significantly more likely to frequently miss school, called “chronic absenteeism,” when a whole month of the school year may be missed. The report was dispersed to the audience, and then two speakers gave brief remarks—Richard Rothstein, and Deputy Mayor of the NYC Department of Education, Dennis Walcott—followed by a panel discussion with panelists including a principal from the Bronx, a social worker from the Children’s Aid Society, and others. I sat in the audience of around two hundred people, seemingly mostly educators, many of whom seemed to be serving in areas of great poverty.

I found the comments by Richard Rothstein, the first speaker, to be particularly powerful and compelling. He is a well-known author and visiting lecturer at Columbia University. I purchased his book, “Class and Schools: Using Social, Economic, and Educational Reform to Close the Black-White Achievement Gap” following the conference and have read the first couple of chapters, which I’ve found to be extremely interesting. He talked about how far-reaching the “achievement gap” between American students is. As policy-makers, educators, and the general public consider this achievement gap (and, in this election season, the education system more broadly), there is a host of suggestions of how to strengthen the education system for all children in our country. Some advocate for more transparency, accountability, better teachers, and higher standards and expectations. If these things were emphasized, many argue, the issue of “failing schools” in communities where there is a lot of poverty would be addressed. Rothstein, however, looks at the achievement gap as an issue that is much more far-reaching than the education system, saying that education reform alone will not be able to address the disparity we see between high/middle class students and lower class students, between white/Asian students and black/Latino students. The issues of poverty run much deeper than failing schools, including a health care system that excludes the poor, housing costs that force frequent moves and sometimes homelessness, and a host of other social issues such as substance abuse and mental health issues.

I sat with my heart in my throat, thinking about the children and teens I see every day. One of Rothstein’s examples jumped out to me. He spoke about the child who comes to school after watching his mother’s boyfriend beat her the night before, or his older brother using drugs. This child is not set up to succeed in the same way as a child who is dropped off at school after eating a good breakfast in a warm home. Likewise, a child who only receives medical care when brought to the Emergency Room is not likely to succeed in the same way as a child who has a pediatrician and can be prescribed an antibiotic when she has an ear infection.

I know these kids.

I am sometimes overwhelmed by just how far-reaching the brokenness is, as Rothstein also points out. I see it on a daily basis. And as I think about the three hours I spend with kids each day, I wonder if helping them with their homework each afternoon is really going to make a difference. When I have the same talks about behavior with the same boys each week, I wonder if they will ever be able to heal from their anger and hurt, which is so evident in the ways they act out.

Even so, I cling to hope. I have hope because I see a powerful resiliency in the spirits of these beautiful children every day. I have the profound privilege of being able to be a part of young people’s lives in this community, as someone stated at the conference, “serving on the ground, on the front lines.” I sit with a teenager who will be the first in her family to go to college, and help her research schools, explaining basic vocabulary, like majors, degree programs, and study-abroad programs. I sit with a first grader as we make our way through his reading homework, slowly and carefully sounding out each word, praising him when he succeeds. I see children singing their hearts out as they jump up and down, saying, “higher, higher, lift Jesus higher.” I have hope that God is doing something, and though we are so far from things being the way they are supposed to be, that they will one day (and soon, I hope!), be completely restored.

I suppose I could go on and on about these things (as my mom discovered in our lengthy phone conversation this week as I rattled off all sorts of thoughts). In light of all these things, I’m discovering a passion within myself for education and social service. These are things I’ve cared about for a long time, I suppose, but I find my interest being refined and deepened, as I learn and see more. I have my parents and the many educators in my family to thank for instilling a desire for “life-long learning,” in me, I think. As you think about these things, I encourage you to visit boldapproach.org , which provides a compelling look at education in our country. It is supported by Richard Rothstein, and many others, including Richard Mouw, president of Fuller Theological Seminary, and former Calvin College philosophy professor. The website includes several passages that are worthy of a careful read and consideration…

Caged Bird...

2008-10-18T14:36:00.002-04:00

A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

"Caged Bird," by Maya Angelou.

Grace flows down...

2008-10-09T11:25:00.002-04:00

There are moments, days, and weeks where I am so aware of the burdens that are so prevalent in the lives of those around me. This has been one of those weeks. A teenager being jumped at school and coming to work with bruises on her face, kids fighting at After School, a frustrated parent reporting bullying at After School, chaos in some of our teenagers' broken (or breaking) homes. I am often frustrated by the bleak picture of "the inner city" that is often painted, and I think God has given me eyes that usually see the beauty and hope here. But sometimes my sense of hope and renewal is less prominent. There's so much that isn't beautiful, that's heavy, and that weighs on the heart. I've gone home the last two nights from work and fallen into bed, praying for our kids and their families, crying, and laying awake before sleep finally comes.

But as always, there are songs in my head and one that has been coming to mind repeatedly in the last days is Matt Redman's "Grace Flows Down." We are in such desperate need of this grace, flowing down, and covering, not just me, but all of us, and all of our world. Will you join your hearts with mine in crying out to God to pour down that grace, to cover all that is hurting and broken, that is suffering and dark?

"Grace Flows Down"
Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
Amazing Love
Now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree
As Grace flows down and covers me

It covers me
It covers me
It covers me
And covers me...

The gladdest thing of all...

2008-09-30T08:20:00.002-04:00

I love quotes, and just read this one...

Repent and believe in the gospel, Jesus says. Turn around and believe that the good news that we are loved is better than we ever dared hope, and that to believe in that good news, to live out of it and toward it, to be in love with that good news, is of all glad things in this world the gladdest thing of all. Amen, and come, Lord Jesus...
-Frederick Buechner

After School Center Photos...

2008-09-25T11:29:00.002-04:00

Wendy took some great pictures yesterday at After School, which you can view here...

I love this little girl...

2008-09-24T11:17:00.003-04:00

Meet Josh and Andrea's daughter, Aylah...

We're buddies, me and Aylah. Yesterday, Aylah made my day. She and Andrea were standing across the parking lot from me at New City. I called Aylah's name and when she saw me, she lit up, started clapping, and then making her way through the hazard-land of flying basketballs and footballs. She greeted me with her typical high-five. She's pretty great (as are her parents, I might add...)

I'm excited for Aylah's little brother or sister to be born in March! :)

The Deborah-Lemmen Weekly...

2008-09-15T21:37:00.005-04:00

Here's my journalistic update...

"Ms. Deborah, you look like a principal."
Small child indicates that my appearance is reminiscent of a principal. Interesting, I think, and as I ponder, decide that my position is somewhat similar to a principal's...

Bus hits pedestrian.
While traveling to work last week on the 87, there seemed to be some sort of incident, resulting in the slight injury of a pedestrian. I'm not entirely certain if the bus struck the pedestrian (we were at a stop, started moving, and then stopped again), or if the bus driver closed the door on the passenger. I suppose there's a host of other possibilities as well--what I am certain of is the exchange between the bus driver and the pedestrian, as the bus driver repeatedly asked if he should call an ambulance/medical attention, and the pedestrian repeatedly shook her head, glaring and offering obscenities.

Creeper on the bus.
One of my most disturbing bus-ride incidents occurred on Friday evening. It began with a long wait for the bus, in the rain. I was wet and cold upon entering the bus, and sat down for a peaceful beginning to the ride. When I was about halfway home, an extremely intoxicated man entered the bus. He carried on a slurred conversation with the driver for a while, and then got up, staggering through the bus. I sat, wet and cold, alone in a seat, until joined by Creeper. This guy sits down next to me and begins to make conversation. Exhausted from our first week of after school (and did I mention, wet and cold?), I was not in the friendliest of moods. The guy then proceeded to edge closer and closer to me, until he finally shoved me into the window alongside the bus. I was less than amused, wriggled free and out of the seat past him and stood up for the rest of the ride...

Bus driver sticks head out window to curse at motorist.
This morning, an SUV driver attempted to create its own lane, where one did not exist. The 87 driver was not impressed and refused to let the vehicle into the actual flow of traffic. The SUV driver was undaunted by the size of the 87 and refused to move. Oncoming traffic began honking incessantly. The 87 driver would not be bested, opened the window and proceeded to yell loudly at the SUV driver, including a colorful vocabulary. The SUV then yielded to the 87 and travel commenced...

(*A caveat to my bus stories: I love the bus. I really love the bus. I try to get everyone I know to ride the bus because I find it to be incredibly interesting and socially educational. Should you ever venture to Jersey City, I would love to escort you on a bus-ride throughout this town. I guarantee a fabulous experience.)

Child almost struck by car.
While walking 35 children from PS 17 to New City today, one of our children darted in front of a turning car--not entirely the fault of either the driver or the child. But even so, I yelled "what are you doing?" to the driver, who should have been paying more attention to the massive group of children on the sidewalk (in my opinion--apparently being responsible for a large number of small children makes me quite assertive). The kids were really crazy all the way around today, and as soon as we got to New City, I marched them to the front of the sanctuary for a little "pull it together" speech (I'm getting pretty alright at those, if I may say so myself--I have gained both voice and looks that let kids know I mean business)...I am hopeful that future walks will be safe and sound...

Band in my living room.
This band is in my living room right now. They're playing a show tomorrow night in Manhattan, and the drummer is engaged to one of Amy's Calvin roommates. They needed a place to stay out here, so welcome to New York Avenue. I like musician types...

Seek joy in the saddest places...

2008-09-11T22:31:00.002-04:00

After School Center enrollment is up to 65 kids and we've started a waiting list since our tutoring floor and classes are now packed. Our teen staff has done a phenomenal job this week. I love watching them interact with the kids, leading classes, leading dramas, teaching kids at a tutoring table. It's really amazing. On Tuesday night, several of the teens and Josh and Andrea and Aylah came over for dinner for my birthday. It made me so happy to sit surrounded by such great people, young and slightly less young. It was really special to me that they all came--it meant a lot. I really love being here.

We got the exciting, and much prayed-about news today that we received a two-month extension on our child care license, which recently expired. I've been working pretty hard on the renewal process since the spring, and it's brought a lot of frustration and uncertainty. We hit big road blocks regarding environmental regulations from the DEP, and some of those issues remain to be resolved before our regular license is instated. But we're working on sorting through all of the paperwork, and any site remediation work that needs to be done on our facility. And we'll keep praying. I'm really thankful that in the mean time, our Urban League funding will remain in place, and hopefully we can continue to run smoothly.

It's been a great first week...

Today this quote was the voice of the day in the Sojourner's update and I really like it:

The only dream worth having ... is to dream that you will live while you’re alive and die only when you’re dead ... To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or to complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

- Arundhati Roy

So happy...

2008-09-08T20:38:00.002-04:00

Today was awesome!

41 kids came to After School and we had an amazing day. I'm so thankful. Our teen staff did an incredible job, we had a full team of adult staff, and everything flowed really smoothly. It was so fun to meet all the kiddos. They're really great. I'm pretty excited about it all--I got off the bus at home smiling, and that's continued throughout the evening...

Thank you for praying for us--I'm confident that it is those prayers offered on our behalf that God is blessing. Keep lifting us up! :)

September arrives...

2008-08-30T11:35:00.004-04:00

It's hard to believe that it's time to start a new school year and that the fall season is setting in (though the 90 degree temps here don't allude to that much). My week was packed with a staff retreat for our adult staff, and then enrolling kids for After School and working with the teen staff to get ready. I don't typically work on weekends, but was at New City all morning today, facilitating a work day with a crew of volunteers from a supporting church. We got a lot done and the place is looking good. I posted colorful schedules and decorations on the walls and did lots of cleaning. In just over 48 hours, there will be energy filling the air. Monday will be quite the day, that is for sure. We currently have 39 kids enrolled (20 of those enrolling on Thursday and yesterday), and parents will be coming in like crazy on Monday and Tuesday to enroll. I'm really excited to get started--nervous too, but mostly excited.

Some photos from a couple weeks ago...
--A Wailin' Jenny's concert at a park in Weehawken, overlooking Manhattan...

Amy and I at the waterfront...

Picnic before the show started...

We love parfaits...

Even better than parfaits--the Wailin' Jenny's. A beautiful show...

--A retreat with the Teen Staff for the After School Center...

Our teenagers are awesome...

Much basketball was played...

Chaiylah and me...

Please keep praying for us--there's a big week ahead! :)

Back to school...after school, that is...

2008-08-25T20:21:00.004-04:00

The first day of After School Center is right around the corner (September 8) and our preparations are in full swing. These weeks are full of planning meetings with other staff members, trainings with our teen staff, calling parents of kids from Summer Camp and After School last year to let them know we've begun enrolling, preparing a resource library of academic activities for kids to work on when they complete their homework, and a host of other things. It's a busy time, but it's exciting too. I feel a new confidence entering this school year, as I have a better handle on what my position entails, and am excited to get started with a new year. I bought a lot of stickers today at Staples, and some multiplication flashcards, and these fabulous bins that are going to help organize the kids notebooks...it's gonna be great... :)

I get especially excited when kids from last year register for this year. I brought enrollment packets today to a hair salon that one of our parents from last year owns. The mother greeted me with a big hug, inquiring how my summer had gone and if I was ready for the busyness to begin. She assured me her daughter is coming back, and her nephew as well--they're two of the kids I felt like I had a special connection with, so I'm very happy about that. Her daughter, now entering 4th grade, is a very inquisitive little girl, who is very curious about the Gospel, as the differences between it and the faith her family practices, of Islam, are apparent to her. She and I had multiple conversations last spring about Jesus, the Bible, and prayer, and I am hopeful for those to continue throughout this year.

I would love you to join with me and our staff and other supporters in praying for these kids and young people--the After School Center students (elementary kids) and the teenagers who help staff the After School Center. Our theme this year will be teaching on the I AM statements that Jesus makes in the book of John (still working on some kind of title or catch phrase to sum that up--maybe just "the I AM's?" let me know if you have suggestions... :) ) It's exciting to be teaching specifically on who Jesus says he is, and I think it will be really interesting to delve into this with our kids. Also not entirely sure how we'll explain the Good Shepherd part...not a lot of shepherds in Jersey City... I'd get really excited if I could connect with a farmer out in Jersey somewhere who would bring in a couple of sheep or something. We'll see. Maybe we'll consider a cotton-ball-sheep craft in lieu of farm animals... Back to being serious--I do ask that you would lift us up before the throne of grace in the coming weeks and months. We are excited to have new adult staff coming on board, as well as a new group of teen staff--including former teen staff members and those who are brand new, and a big group of kids--also including many who have come to After School or Summer Camp in the past, and then many who will enter New City for the first time this fall. Pray that the Holy Spirit would cover our building and programming, and mostly, work mightily in each of our lives, as staff and students.

This self-portrait is from last spring, with me and my little buddy, Tyheem, who is one of our returning kids...

H-town Happenings...

2008-08-11T20:39:00.004-04:00

I love my town, Hamilton, Michigan--or "H-town," as I affectionately call it. I don't actually think our population is large enough for us to be considered a town, I believe we're technically a village. Regardless, there are some important developments...

First:
The Hawk's Nest/Cream Chalet (the restaurant/ice cream shop where I worked while in high school) is now serving corn-dogs.
That's right, people, we've got corn-dogs...

Second:
(This is even better than the corn-dogs.)
There is this little coffee shack now located in the parking lot of the tiny grocery store in Hamilton. Even better than simply the existence of said shack is its name: "City Brew Coffee." That is funny...

Humor aside, I really do love my town. I love living in the city, but I love this too. Being at home is lovely--I've spent great time with family, and with friends too, plus lots of reading and rest. My favorite is running around outside in the grass barefoot, or laying in the grass to read...

You can take the girl out of the country...

2008-08-06T07:24:00.002-04:00

But you can't take the country out of the girl...

Or so says the country song anyway. And I think perhaps it's a little bit true. My flights were smooth yesterday and I got into Kalamazoo's two-gate airport without any difficulty. As I put away my driver's license in my wallet, the man sitting next to me said, "excuse me, I don't mean to be pry, but I see you have a Jersey license and I grew up in the City. Where are you from?" I told him I'm from Jersey City, and then paused and said, well, really, I'm from here, but now I'm in Jersey. He remarked on the drastic changes between the places I live. "You grew up in one of these hickville towns and now you live in the city?" he asked, shaking his head. I laughed and said, yep, something like that...

I felt the irony a bit yesterday as I laid on a blanket in the backyard (surrounded by cornfields), and read about urban ministry. I love the cornfields, and I love the city. My family went to the beach last night and as my mom and I walked along, I told her I don't know how I can love things that are so different so much, but somehow it happened and I do. I'm glad that both are a part of my life, even though when I'm in one place, the other seems like a whole different life far away.

I put a few photos on Facebook, so you can check them out there...

Segregated Sundays...

2008-08-04T16:52:00.004-04:00

Worthy of a careful reading and much reflection...

My reflection on this is timely, as I attended a beautiful worship service yesterday morning in an all African American church. I have a whirlwind of relevant thoughts about this, but they are not particularly cohesive as yet in my mind. Rather than share the whirlwind, I hope you read the story and spend some time reflecting and praying about it...

Comment recap...

2008-07-30T18:09:00.002-04:00

Sunday:
(Standing on the sidewalk while waiting for the bus...)
Random guy: "You're tall!"
Me: "Yes, I am."
Random guy: "Yes, you are." (followed by creepy stare--I walked to the next bus stop.)

Good observation, Sherlock...

Monday:
(While playing outside before summer camp...)
One of our 5th graders: "Ms. Deborah, you look tired."
Me: "Yeah, I'm a little bit tired."
5th grader: "You have bags under your eyes--you should have worn make-up."

Honesty--that's nice...

Tuesday:
(While playing outside before summer camp, "turning" a jump-rope...)
One of our teenagers: "Deborah, you're the only person I've seen drink coffee and turn at the same time."

Why thank you...

Wednesday:
(Once again, playing outside before camp starts...)
Same 5th grader: "Ms. Deborah, are you a mother?"
Me: "No, I'm not a mother."
5th grader: "Oh. I thought you were."
Me: "What made you think so?"
5th grader: "Well, you just seem like a mother. You make sure that everybody gets their turn."

I'll take that--you know, fairness, equity, and justice--I'm about that...

-----
Unrelated... You should probably check out this link to this music video...

Concerts, kiddos, and travels home...

2008-07-26T19:31:00.004-04:00

Last week:
Kyle and Sarah and I and six teenagers from New City went to a free Punch Brothers concert (featuring the incredibly talented Chris Thile) in Battery Park City. It was fabulous, though I think I enjoy Nickel Creek quite a bit more...I'm sad that they have disbanded...

Next week:
We have just one more week of Summer Camp, concluding on Friday. I'm tired going into this final week, after handling a couple of intense situations last week--one involving angry parents, and the other, a hysterical child (as in throwing herself on the floor screaming and crying). But it's been really great overall--our teen staff has done a phenomenal job and I've had more time to spend with them than during After School. So that has been super fun, and the kids are a great bunch too. I'll be glad to rest when it's over, but it's been great and the kids have learned so much about Christ and had a lot of fun too...

Week after next:

Michigan! I fly home Tuesday, August 5th and will be there for a full two weeks. I wouldn't have guessed that Michigan would ever sound like an exotic destination to me, but I'm eagerly anticipating this vacation as if it were the Bahamas or some such place... I'm particularly excited to be with my family, as this will be the first time in two years that Ruth and Mary and I are all at our parents house at the same time. Not really sure how my parents managed to raise three adventurous daughters who have taken it upon themselves to travel and live in unexpected locations, but it's quite cool, really. It's going to be amazing to all be home together. And with the kick-off of After School just weeks away, some time to get away and rest will be wonderful. So for all of you in West Michigan, give me a call, because I'll be there soon... :)

Boston and horses...

2008-07-13T22:07:00.007-04:00

Long ago promised, but finally delivered...here are some photos from the weekend I spent in Boston with my friend Katharina last month...

I am far from a pool shark...

We took the "Duck Boat" tour--super touristy? Yes, but you know...

----------
A couple weekends ago Sarah and Katharina and I went horseback riding at this real sketchy horse farm in North Jersey. I was really excited to find a place to ride and a few of our teen girls want to come with me. But when we arrived at the farm, we were greeted by an extremely rude man, slightly unhealthy looking horses, and tack in really horrible condition. I won't be taking any teenagers to ride there, that's for sure. So my search for a reputable farm in Jersey continues, but Katharina and Sarah and I enjoyed a nice morning out riding...

Me and "Apples," the psycho horse the angry farm owner had me ride. Appaloosas aren't my favorite and he reminded me of why that is the case...

Katharina and "Nibbles..."

---------
At work: the first week of Summer Camp went really well, and we're gearing up for another one. I'm leading small groups of girls on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and those were my highlights last week. On Thursday, I took six girls downtown Jersey City and walked around the waterfront. I'm grateful to be able to spend good relational time with kids in settings outside my usual routine.
At home: Sarah and I are settling into our apartment and it's feeling more and more like home all the time. I finished unpacking the boxes in my room this afternoon. Once things are put away a bit more, I'll post pictures of it soon... :)

Things on my mind...

2008-07-12T19:44:00.002-04:00

Several months ago, I sang the song below at a LOFT service at Calvin. It's been running through my head this week because last week Kyle and I had our guitars out and played and sang it. The lyrics are powerful, and I've been thinking about them, particularly as they relate to the context where I have the privilege of living and serving now...

"Rich Young Ruler." ~Derek Webb.
poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me

(vs. 2)
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me

(bridge)
because what you do to the least of these
my brother’s, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me

New York Avenue...

2008-06-25T22:56:00.003-04:00

My good friends from Calvin, Sarah Geurkink and Kyle Sandison, have moved out to Jersey City and Sarah and I are moving into our apartment this weekend! It's a busy time and an exciting one...I'm really excited to live with her, and it's fun to move into a new place, on a cool street called New York Avenue. I'll post photos once we get settled in. My bedroom will serve as a guest room whenever we have visitors, so come on out to visit--it'd be a great time. :)

The Fung Wah Bus...

2008-06-03T21:05:00.003-04:00

So there's this fabulous deal: a bus that goes straight from NYC to Boston for $30, round-trip...

My friend Katharina, a University student from Germany, who is living with one of my co-workers for six months, and I decided to take a weekend trip to Boston. We went last weekend and had a lovely time (photos coming soon).

However, our Fung Wah bus transportation was a bit harrowing. Just prior to leaving Saturday morning, I googled Fung Wah and found the Wikipedia site (which I linked), describing the high rate of accidents. Our trip was thankfully accident free, but it was also the most reminiscent form of transportation to tro-tros (the crowded, sometimes crazy, vans we rode to get around in Ghana), that I have experienced in the States. On the 5 hour ride home, the bus driver pulled off to the side of the highway a total of 6 times. He shut off the engine, waited for about ten seconds, and then turned it back on, continuing on the trip. The scariest times were when he pulled off right next to an on-ramp, blocking half of the right lane of traffic, as well as the on-ramp on a crowded New York expressway, and then the time we had to stop on the Manhattan bridge in our way into the City.

$30 is a fabulous price and we were excited for our travels. But Katharina and I decided that our lives are worth the upgrade to more reputable bus companies (and there are many--buses to DC, Philly, Baltimore, etc., etc., etc.).

Our overnight accommodations were a great budget discovery. We stayed in a hostel, for $35 each. It was a small room, with three sets of bunk beds--we had roommates that were up at 6am, speaking loudly in Chinese, but even so, it was an overall great experience. It was really clean and convenient, and we met some nice folks from all over. Check out International Hostelling if you're ever seeking reasonable accommodations, the opportunity to meet interesting people, and the need to stay within a small budget.

In other news, this is our last week of After School Center! I can't believe an entire semester has already passed. We have a big performance/celebration for the parents and community on Thursday night, so it's a big week...

Michigan, bedbugs, and personalities...

2008-05-22T09:00:00.002-04:00

I went home last weekend! It was wonderful to spend time in Michigan with friends and family--a whirlwind trip over just a few days, but so wonderful. Highlights included breakfasts at BrandyWine and Gaia House, both in great company, the senior worship service at Calvin, post-graduation pictures, sitting around a fire in my parents' backyard, spending an afternoon at Lake Michigan with my mom, and dinner with my sister upon her arrival back to Michigan from her Colorado trip...good times. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel as I arrived back in Jersey City. But it's been really nice to be back. I love seeing so many different people all the time, hearing different languages, getting my cafe con leche every morning on the way to work, and the interesting things I see daily, bringing a laugh or at least a puzzled head tilt. There are a lot of places I love, for different reasons, and this one is gaining a place in my heart.

However. The latest drama is an infestation of bedbugs in my neighbor's apartment. I was unaware that bedbugs were a real thing--I thought it was just part of that rhyme. But no, they are real, they are ravishing NYC, they are disgusting, they are in my neighbor's apartment, and last week, my roommate woke up with bites. So they are in our apartment as well. I have not experienced bites or seen any bedbug signs in my room--they spread room-by-room so I think I am in the clear for now. The exterminator is coming again over the weekend, as there is a two-week period in between egg hatching. Hot water and temperatures kill eggs, so I have been washing everything. The awful creatures also have a difficult time climbing in plastic, so I have cleared all of my shelves, drawers, and am working on the closet, putting everything in plastic totes and bins. It will make my move, coming up in just over a month, quite easy, but for now, my room is bare and impersonal. But better that than bugs crawling into my bed to feast on my blood. Disgusting.

A final note for the day...last night I had dinner with Andrea and we were talking about the personality test that uses that categories of lions, otters, beavers, and golden retrievers. Our camp staff took this test and then stood in the quadrant where the test indicated, as we surveyed the people who are like us and the people who think about and experience life differently. It was really interesting then, and as I find myself now on a new staff, it's interesting to think about the personalities of those I work with now. I just took an online assessment and my results were the same as a couple of years ago when I took the test at camp. I scored 25 in the lion ("the captain") category, 31 in the otter ("the social director") category, 44 in the beaver ("the navigator") category, and 49 in the golden retriever ("the steward") category. So golden retriever, leaning towards beaver...as I read through the lists of behaviors, strengths and weaknesses, that seems about right. Check out the test--it's kind of cool... :)

The girls said...

2008-05-07T07:54:00.003-04:00

There are moments, expressions, and conversations that jump out at us, burning their way into our memories.

This week, I think of two conversations I've had with girls in the after school center.

The first was on Monday evening. I offered to walk two of our kids home--these walks home are often my favorite part of the day. The kids are brother and sister, twins in fact, and in the 5th grade. We enjoyed a pleasant conversation, and as we neared their home, Jylean asked in a questioning voice, "Ms. Deborah?" "Yes?," I responded, thinking another question was coming. But instead of a question, she offered caution: "Be careful walking back alone. It's dangerous because there's lots of gangs out here."

That was it--nothing that I was not already aware of, but the earnest expression on her face caught me off guard. Those were not the kind of worries I experienced when I was in the 5th grade in Hamilton, Michigan.

As I laid in bed last night, another conversation that I had yesterday afternoon was on my mind and heart. Jazmine is in the 4th grade, and I sat at her tutoring table during the after school center for a little while yesterday afternoon. She had to write a poem about her family for school, and so she started telling me...her parents are separated, she and her brother live with her dad, her older sister lives with an aunt, her dad is a truck driver and may get work in Alaska, in which case she and her brother will move, her mom is going to court to try to get them to live with her. I could see tears near the surface as she explained it all to me. I asked her what she hoped would happen (referring to whether she'd prefer to live with her mom or aunt), and was answered with another earnest response. "I wish my mom and dad would get back together. It will never happen. But I pray for it every night. I've been praying and praying. But it still hasn't happened." She turned back to her notebook, as I think she tried to hide her tears. I sat with her until she finished her homework. Every night, I am praying for our kids, and last night, I was lifting up Jazmine.

There is Hope, yes, but for now, the brokenness runs deep and wide.

Easy math...

2008-04-27T17:56:00.003-04:00

Here's a simple equation to describe the way I spent my afternoon on Friday (enjoying the last day of our spring break):

Something like this: Commons-lawn (a Calvin reference to a large and grassy gathering place in the middle of campus) times ten, plus men in speedos, plus carts with hot dogs and pretzels = "the Sheep's Meadow" in Central Park.

It's a beautiful spot, and I enjoyed a peaceful afternoon on my blanket, watching people who intrigued me, and reading the Gospel of Mark.

If you come to visit me out here, I will be sure to take you to Central Park, which has surprised me in both its vastness and beauty. (Though I could do without the speedos, that is for sure...)

Tomorrow our kids come back from spring break and we open our After School Center doors for only a few weeks longer, and then summer begins!

The Pope and Spring Break...

2008-04-22T09:22:00.004-04:00

I'm told that some wait a lifetime to catch a glimpse of the Pope. On Sunday morning, near Ground Zero, I caught not just one, but two glimpses of the Pope. I was making my way to the church I've been attending for the last few weeks--well, really only trying to make my way to church. The streets were closed down, guarded by more police officers than I have ever seen in one place before. Then the motorcade began--police on motorcycles, police cars, black sedans with armored guards and lots of guns, and finally, a black sedan with flags flying on the front. The crowd began to cheer and clap loudly, and as the vehicle passed, sure enough, there was the Pope, waving. Realizing that the sidewalk was impassable, there was nothing to do but wait for a while, and after a few moments, the sound of the motorcade returned, as the procession had rounded a corner and was coming around the block once again. Thus, my second glimpse of the Pope...

I eventually made it to the church I've been going to recently, City Fellowship Church, a church plant through the Christian Reformed denomination. Its meeting place in lower Manhattan, only blocks from the World Trade Center site, is about a 20 minute train ride from Jersey City. It has been a wonderful discovery, as one of City Fellowship's pastors and his wife, Ben and Christy, were my small group leaders at the Facing Your Future program I participated in at Calvin Seminary after graduating from high school. It's been wonderful to connect with Ben and Christy out here, and I am very much enjoying getting to know their ministry and community at City Fellowship.

This week, the After School Center is closed, due to it being spring break week. I had the day off yesterday and went into the city, where I visited three coffeeshops and one coffee/tea store. It was delightful. I am working the rest of this week, attempting to get a good head start on preparing our enrollment packets for the fall. My biggest project is working on our child care license renewal through the state of New Jersey. Paperwork is a nice change of pace from the constant energy required during a regular week of After School Center. I hope to get a lot done this week, and rest too, as we then begin our last seven weeks of the school year! Just like my college semesters, it's hard to believe that we're nearing the end of a semester!

One last thing for now...a few weeks ago I was interviewed about my experiences with the Lilly Vocation Project (as a Worship Apprentice, Jubilee Fellow, and Youth Ministry Minor at Calvin). They're writing profiles of students who have graduated and are now serving in various ministry settings. So you can check out my profile, if you get bored sometime. :)

Martha's burning...

2008-04-18T08:37:00.008-04:00

Andrea and I have begun a studio-audience tour. We began yesterday morning with the Martha Stewart Show. The studio was freezing and I had goosebumps for most of the show--I think the temperature just needs to correspond with Martha's chilly personality. She was relatively pleasant however. I think that was due to her guest, Joan Rivers, who was hilarious, if not slightly inappropriate. At one point in the live filming, Martha commented that she smelled smoke. Sure enough, a stove top was turned on and burning through the wooden cutting board covering it. We could see the smoke from our seats. After the fire issue was over, the rest of the show went off without a hitch.
I was really excited about Martha because I had heard that she gives away great gifts to the studio audience. Hoping for some kind of useful kitchen utensil, or maybe a Caribbean cruise, I was a bit disappointed, as well as amused, when our gift was announced as being a box of matzoth. Martha was making ginger-bread type houses, only with matzoth, and our gift was a delightful box of unleavened crackers. Not quite what I envisioned, but funny.

Next up on our tour? Rachael Ray and Regis and Kelly...I'll keep you posted... :)

After School Center Photos...

2008-04-15T20:54:00.005-04:00

Today was my first-ever attempt at Double-Dutch. I think I made a valiant effort, but despite including the name of my heritage in its title, I did not pick it up instinctively. I'm going to need a bit more practice...

Anger, Bakeries, and Chacos...

2008-04-14T21:11:00.004-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about anger recently. I see anger expressed much more regularly here than I have ever experienced before. I hear it in the way parents talk to their kids on the bus, or the way store clerks address customers. On Friday evening, anger was unleashed on me as an upset parent lashed out at me because she felt her son was being treated unfairly. Unaccustomed to being yelled at, I was a bit taken aback. And it has caused me to ponder. Despite my typical attempts to avoid generalizations, I've been asking myself why people in Jersey City are so angry? Why does the crossing guard I walk past every afternoon yell curses at the cars that go by on the street or the children passing on the sidewalk? Why does a bus passenger get into a yelling match with the driver while that driver is transporting an entire vehicle of passengers (and why does the driver yell back!)? Why does a parent yell in front of her children (and other people's children) to express dissatisfaction over a decision? It seems to me that anger may serve as a kind of fuel to keep people going--as lives and situations may be in shambles, does anger provide some kind of relief? I've been thinking about how it seems as though anger and hope, though profoundly different in nature, may both be used to meet our need for meaning. The meaning anger provides is in the form of some kind of release, while at the same time often wounding someone else, as well as eventually destroying the person using it. Hope, on the other hand, can be the stirring sense that there is something greater coming, something meaningful on the horizon. I want to be a person who turns to hope instead of anger--hope for something more, something greater, hope for Jesus to come back soon. And I want to encourage our children and young people, who are surrounded by anger and rage, to choose hope too.

I discovered a bakery only a few blocks away from New City today! I walked a couple of our kids home tonight, which provided some of my favorite moments of the day. I love talking with our kids in laid-back settings like that. As I walked back to New City, I noticed this tiny storefront with a sign for a bakery. I went in and bought a donut, talking for a bit with the woman working the counter. I love supporting local businesses, and it's always exciting to discover new places. Josh and Andrea discovered a panini cafe/shop that just opened in our neighborhood, and I'm looking forward to checking it out sometime this week.

I've also been delighted to be able to wear my Chacos lately. Spring is here, as the trees are blooming and flowers blossoming. It's beautiful, warm, and sunny most days. We have predictions of 70 degree temperatures on Thursday!

And those are the ABC's I have to share this evening... :)

Police officers and mice...

2008-04-09T22:37:00.003-04:00

I found yesterday morning a bit interesting. Before heading into work, I went downtown Jersey City, to a Starbucks on the Hudson River, overlooking Manhattan. I sat for a while, reading a book about healthy interactions between teachers and parents. But I was sitting there thinking too. Seated at a table across from me were two Jersey City police officers. As I sat there, I recalled one of my first memorable experiences in Jersey City, shortly after my arrival here...

It was 6.45pm or so, and on this mid-winter evening, it was already quite dark. I waited alone at a bus stop right outside New City, ready to go home for the evening. As I stood waiting, a man wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with his hood up (it was cold that night) walked past. I said hello, but he kept walking. Suddenly, an unmarked car passing on the street did a U-turn before screeching to a halt. Two men wearing jeans and sweatshirts jumped out of the car, pulling out their badges identifying them as police officers. Yelling all the while, they grabbed the man who had just passed by me, and slammed him against the building wall. The man was also yelling, declaring he was clean and didn't do anything. The officers yelled back "we got a call, we got a call." While one of the officers contained him, the other walked the distance of only a few feet over to me, asking me if the man had said anything to me. At my response no, and finding the man indeed void of anything troubling, the officers jumped back into the car, speeding away. The man, uttering many curses (and rightfully upset, in my mind), kept walking down the street, and I kept waiting for the bus to come...

In the months since, I have often thought about this experience. Though I walk the same streets as that man, I don't walk them worrying that I may at any time be shoved against a wall, yelled at and searched--by the police. And as I sat yesterday in Starbucks, it flashed before me once again. Reasonably well-dressed, with my blond hair and blue eyes, I didn't walk out of that Starbucks thinking that the police might come after me roughly as I left. As I left, I thought of the man in my neighborhood, who, as his experience indicated, does not have the same relative assurance.

Stopping here doesn't do full justice to my ponderings, but when I can say well what else it is that I want do say, well, then I'll try. What I do believe is justice is important and I see a whole lot of things that aren't even close to being just.

In a far lighter vein, the other interesting part of my morning took place after my Carmel Macchiato from Starbucks, as I picked up some supplies for the After School Center at Staples. As I stood looking at flashcards and stickers, I thought I saw a sudden movement out of the corner of my eye--the scampering kind of movement. I laughed a bit in disbelief to myself that there might actually be a mouse in the store, running the aisles. Curious, I walked to the end of the aisle and turned the corner in the direction the scampering had turned. Sure enough, I saw the creature run under one of the displays. I shook my head, as this was my first experience seeing a mouse in a big chain store. Welcome to Jersey City... :)

Crazy?

2008-04-03T21:38:00.004-04:00

This week I've wondered if it is possible that my first months here have altered my perception of craziness. Because to me, pretty much every day seems kind of crazy. As this week has unfolded, I've sought a lot of affirmation from the wonderful people with whom I work. "This is crazy, right?" I've asked, time and again. "Yeah, it's crazy," is most often the reply.

So I've been pondering what normal people do. I mean, normal people have normal jobs, right? They go to work in neat and tidy offices. Their tape dispenser doesn't wander off their desk and random objects don't simply appear on their desk (sometimes in the form of dirty clothing, unfinished homework, a clarinet, or best yet--melted ice cream bars left out overnight).

Let's consider an example of a comment between co-workers that could be made in such a place. I'm thinking something like, "I have a client presentation in twenty minutes, so I need to leave right now to make it on time."

Okay. But this is why I feel a bit crazy--the above comment has no relevance to my life at present. However, the following words to a co-worker did come out of my mouth earlier this week: "um, Josh? I think I need some help. RJ is banging his head into the wall and I can't get him to stop."

So it's crazy, right? I think so, but I think I signed up for crazy. And in some really crazy way, I might even love it a little bit. At the very least, I love the kids that bring the craziness along with them...

Photos...

2008-02-10T15:56:00.001-05:00

Some pictures from the past few weeks...

First, Sarah and Nikki visit over Calvin's interim:

Next, our staff development "fun day." Making chocolates at a candy store...

Me and Ms. Vicki--New City's Discipleship Coordinator/Mentor/Counselor/Amazing Encourager:

Me and Josh, New City's fantastic Teen Employment Director, who is very excited about chocolate:

Our staff displaying our chocolate making certificates:

Now to the After School Center...

Art class:

Kickboxing class:

Tutoring:

Two of our wonderful teen employees: Tonia, dance instructor, and Taylor, tutor:

If you didn't receive my recent e-mail update and would like to, let me know and I'll send you one--it has a PDF attachment with a description of a typical day in the After School Center and some other photos...

Grace and peace, -D.

"Ms. Deborah"

2008-01-09T09:50:00.000-05:00

Monday felt like my first "real" day at New City, as it was the first day the After School Center was open after the holidays. Around 2:30 or shortly thereafter, the kids begin to roll in. The first to arrive is a small group of rambunctious young boys, who run through the doors, drop their book bags on the floor, and then run back outside to begin playing basketball with some of the teenage employees. More kids trickle in, and then the large group of kids arrive, from PS 17 ("public school 17"), the nearby elementary school where most of the children attend.

As they come through the doors, each child is greeted warmly by name, currently by Ms. Vicki, who has been overseeing much of the After School Center. Since they had seen my picture and were counting down the days to my arrival, the kids greeted me warmly as "Ms. Deborah," with hugs from some and shy introductions in other cases. It's snack time when they arrive, as a teenager oversees the snack area. Some of the kids play in the parking lot outside, while the others play games in the main gathering room. And then it's time for community time.

During community time, all of the kids gather in the front of the gathering room. The theme changes by day: Monday--mathematics, Tuesday--Bible and singing, Wednesday--spelling, Thursday--Bible and singing, Friday--"World Day." The energy in the room is evident, and the teenagers assist with encouraging good behavior.

At the end of community time begins the first of the daily two blocks. During one block, each child completes his or her homework with the tutoring assistance of volunteers and the teen employees. During the other block, the children participate in classes for keyboard, drums, art, or kickboxing on Monday, Wednesday. and Thursdays, and then drama, recreation, or dance on Tuesdays and Fridays. The teenagers, along with adult teachers, lead and teach the classes. And then around 5:30, parents begin to trickle in to pick up their kids, up until 6pm, when the Center closes.

In my first days, I've thoroughly enjoyed my time with the kids, who are full of energy and vibrancy. On Monday, I taught one of the boys I was told is quite the adorable-trouble-maker, how to play Sorry. Yesterday, I stayed at the front desk to greet parents, but this young man came running out of the game room to give me a hug, explaining excitedly that he had turned over a "backwards 4" card, allowing him to get into the safe zone, nearing his piece toward home (as I had explained was possible the day before). I congratulated him and he tore out of the room once again, back to his game.

I'm enjoying the kids and the great staff members I get to work alongside. I'm enjoying New Jersey sunshine and riding the bus to work each day. I'm continuing to meet wonderful people, and am, all in all, very grateful to be here...

A photo update from Jersey City...

2008-01-01T18:36:00.000-05:00

It is high time for an update, I suppose! So this one is in photographs--time with my family over the weekend, and my apartment in the Heights neighborhood of Jersey City...

Me and Mary, Times Square, NYC...

My parents...

Rockefeller Center...
--------------------------------------------

My room...

View from my room, into the kitchen...

(Door to my room is the open one on the right...)

Living room...

Dining room...

The short update: I've been warmly greeted into a wonderful community, am enjoying exploring the neighborhood, and look forward to beginning at New City this week and then to meeting the kids on Monday, when the After School Center re-opens from the holiday break!

2007-09-06T22:50:00.000-04:00

By Rainer Maria Rilke, from "Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God."

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
Then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
Go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.

Flare up like flame
And make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

In four hours,

2007-08-18T18:36:00.000-04:00

My sister is coming home...
Tonight, we're sharing a room at home in Hamilton, just like back in the day...
This is a beautiful thing...

Romans 12...

2007-08-14T19:59:00.000-04:00

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not think you are superior.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Tomorrow...

2007-08-03T17:01:00.000-04:00

I'm going to be with Geurkie! And I'm going to see Jersey City for the first time. And I'm going to see RENT on Broadway.

It's looking like it's going to be a good weekend...

In fact, I am a dreamer...

2007-07-27T20:10:00.001-04:00

There are many things that are important in life. Loving deeply, serving wholly, giving generously, laughing frequently...

I suppose I find myself attempting to figure out what is next as the realization of the brevity of the final semester of my college career is setting in.

For quite some time, I've been dreaming of non-profit coffeehouses, ever since serving in one, really. In the last couple of weeks, Sarah (Geurkink) and I have been pondering this dream more fully, as we talk about beginning a non-profit coffeehouse in Jersey City, New Jersey. A breathing space, a safe place, a haven of just being...

Next week, I fly to Jersey for a whirlwind of a weekend--precious time with Sarah and adventures in the city. I'm excited...excited to walk the streets, to dream and to pray.

"Go forth boldly..."

Injustice?

2007-06-18T20:55:00.000-04:00

Currently reading: Amazing Grace: The Lives of Children and the Conscience of a Nation by Jonathan Kozol.

The president of the Children’s Defense Fund describes this book about children living in the South Bronx as “Very powerful…its scope and breadth and Jonathan Kozol’s reflections and perceptions make it resonate with the troubles and truths of the poor, particularly ppor children, in every city of our nation.”

These words stood out to me last night. The author is conversing with a poet from the Bronx, who translated all of Paradise Lost into Spanish...

“Do people in the neighborhood,” I ask, “use language like ‘injustice?’”
He presses his hands flat on his desk. “How often do you speak about the air? If something touches every aspect of existence, every minute of each hour of your life, it needn’t often be spelled out. But it is always there, a quiet understanding.”

(Kozol 81).

Learning, always learning...

2007-06-17T13:32:00.000-04:00

It's been said that to understand another person, you must first "walk a mile in their shoes."

I appreciate the empathy that this pithy phrase tries to flesh out. And yet, this week has left me humbled with the recognition that some things, some peoples' life experiences, are unfathomable for me.

Last week, a family was introduced and welcomed during the morning worship service at my church. They just moved into our neighborhood (exactly one block away from the home where I'm living this summer). I look forward to getting to know this family. A father, a mother, a teenage son, two teenage daughters, and two elementary school aged daughters. This family is from Burundi, a country in Eastern Africa, bordered by Tanzania, Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo. In 1972, Burundians were forced to flee their homes because of genocide. This family lived in a refugee camp in Rwanda until the 1994 genocide there, forcing them to flee to Tanzania, where they have lived until this year. Two weeks ago, they left Africa for the United States. Now, they live in Grand Rapids, Michigan, just down the street from my home.

The journey of these lives is unfathomable to me. Walking a mile in their shoes is far from possible, at least so it seems.

Hospitality is profoundly important, of this I am convinced, even though I don't always know how to model it, or fail to enact it all together. But I've been thinking about it a great deal this week, particularly as I visited the family's home earlier in the week. Since we don't speak each other's languages, I knew verbal communication was going to be basically non-existent. But though we couldn't understand each other's words, my hope was that somehow a warm welcome would be understood. Later this week (hopefully, or shortly thereafter), I'll begin volunteering as an ESL tutor, a new experience for me and one that I'm greatly looking forward to.

Words and phrases I've been pondering all week: displacement, resettlement, sense of home, sense of place, sense of belonging, sense of hope.

Graduation Weekend

2007-06-09T11:13:00.000-04:00

Happy 1st Birthday, Anna!

2007-06-06T21:01:00.001-04:00

A picnic at Hagar Park...

Moving to The Toy Room...

2007-06-01T11:26:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I will move, once again! I'm living with my aunt and uncle for the summer, in a room in their basement. Presently, it is home to a multitude of dolls, blocks, trains, trucks, and every other toy imaginable for the grandkids. My project begins by relocating such amusements to the big room and turning the small room into my home for the summer. I'm looking forward to this situation...I'm with family, near church and our youth group kids, near Calvin and work, near friends, and near Gathering Grounds, my (recently deemed) favorite coffeehouse in GR.

My Grand Rapids summer will begin in the morning with a visit to the Fulton Farmer's Market with my friend, Marie. We may also venture downtown to the Festival of the Arts, which is taking place this weekend:

I've been reminded in the last weeks that I do in fact enjoy West Michigan, a fact I let myself forget after an amazing summer in Seattle last year, I believe. I spent yesterday afternoon in GasLight Village and at Reed's Lake with a couple of wonderful people. And I'm looking forward to the remainder of the summer as well. Even my small town of Hamilton has made me smile many times this week, reminding me that this is home. This will soon be the picture of fields nearby, though the corn is not yet this tall:

This week has provided again plenty of time to read. I finished The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen earlier in the week. And now I'm reading Mountains Beyond Mountains, by Tracy Kidder, about Dr. Paul Farmer, "a man who would cure the world," or so says the subtitle. One of the phrases I just read caused me to stop and mull it over, though I've heard it or similar versions many times before. A young Paul Farmer is quoted as saying his desire is to "lend voice to the voiceless." In considering this type of statement, I've also heard the contention that no one is voiceless, rather that some voices are silenced. I resonate with this assertion more fully than believing that some are entirely voiceless. Having a voice is a part of being a human being, or at least so I would like to believe. But in recognizing that with privilege and power come the ability to speak and be heard, I also recognize that many voices--many perspectives, cries, heartaches, dreams, hopes--are not heard. And thus perhaps a more full hope would be lending voices that are silenced the ability to be heard. This is a hope that I feel deeply, and I hope that I advocate throughout my life with a focus of bringing volume to silent, unheard or quiet cries, heartaches, dreams, and hopes.

"[Jesus Christ's] appearance in our midst has made it undeniably clear that changing the human heart and changing human society are not separate tasks, but are as interconnected as the two beams of the cross."
~Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer.

Celebration...

2007-05-27T15:07:00.000-04:00

Summer! It's here.

I had the great privilege of beginning mine by spending a week in a place dear to my heart: Seattle...

I spent precious time with people who have greatly touched my life. We laughed and listened.

I drank a lot of coffee and made my own lattes: pulling my own espresso shots and frothing my own milk (non-fat and extra hot). The GreenBean is as full of life and beauty now as it was when I experienced it last summer, and returning brought me a deep sense of peace. This place (or rather, these experiences and people, and the way God worked through them) has indeed changed my life.

I visited great bookstores and came home with several books (Dialogues with Silence, by Thomas Merton; Selected Poems, by Langston Hughes; Mountains Beyond Mountains, by Tracy Kidder; Paradise, by Toni Morrison; and The Wounded Healer, by Henri Nouwen).

I journaled and prayed, reflected and pondered much. I am so very grateful and my heart is filled with joy. I see this little life of mine as quite the beautiful journey. I've been reminded yet again that I need to stop trying to have my life planned out neatly. Planning is a way that I try to grasp where I am heading, I think. So if you asked me last week, I would have told you that I plan to begin at Western Theological Seminary in the fall of 2008. If you ask me today, however, I'll probably smile and shrug my shoulders. This week, many people I trust deeply encouraged me to work and serve before I begin further formal education. So perhaps job searching shall in fact begin, as December seems to be so very close around the corner. But basically, I'm smiling and shrugging because I don't know what's next. Of this, however, I am confident: there will be beauty and hope to seek out, perhaps to even fight for and uncover in places where some are convinced it does not exist. And thus, I smile and hold up my palms, open, praying that they will be used by One whose plans are whole and beyond what I can imagine.

Litany.

Gather up
In the arms of your pity
The sick, the depraved,
The desperate, the tired,
All the scum
Of our weary city
Gather up
In the arms of your pity.
Gather up
In the arms of your love--
Those who expect
No love from above.

~Langston Hughes.

2007-05-25T01:47:00.000-04:00

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Amen.

~Thomas Merton "Thoughts in Solitude"

Breakfast on the Bedroom Floor.

2007-05-17T22:08:00.000-04:00

Our apartment is becoming more and more empty, as the campus as a whole has quieted. I've spent some time reflecting on not only this year, but my entire time at Calvin College. There are many stories to be told from my time here. And perhaps most influential are the many amazing people in my life because of my experience here.

Two of these people are the beautiful and incredible women that I have traveled to and from Ghana with and have then shared an apartment with this semester.

So to Stephanie and Sarah, some moments that I hold dear:

A three-way phone call, considering what to pack.

Eating dinner in my room in Ghana, on a powerless evening. And by dinner, I mean peanuts, bread and laughing cow cheese, all surrounded by the romantic glow of candle-light.

Taking a "Theta 24" picture in front of the biggest waterfall in West Africa.

Getting dressed up for Thanksgiving dinner.

Being reunited after interim and having up the nativity set with four wise people and no shepherds all semester.

Singing and dancing. Especially anything related to "The Welcome Circle."

Standing on the bathroom counter, reading poetry.

Sitting on the bedroom floor many mornings, eating eggs and toast.

Crying together, and laughing together more often than crying.

Learning, trying, forgiving, listening, and cuddling.

These women have greatly impacted my story, my faith, my life. And I am very grateful for them and honored that they have been willing to walk alongside me. With the year's end, we begin to head on paths that won't be as intertwined as this year's have been. But I am forever changed because of them, and look forward too with a smile to what may come before each of us. For each of us continue on, with a deep desire to love, to serve, and to live well, as we humbly try to be faithful and just...

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
-Frederick Buechner.

So go forth boldly, to love and serve the Lord.

2007-05-16T13:21:00.000-04:00

We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us, so we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. ... One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let our justification rest entirely with God.

- Richard Foster

from Celebration of Discipline

On the eve of Mother's Day...

2007-05-12T21:57:00.000-04:00

Ryan Rodrick Beiler, web-editor for Sojourner's, posted this week regarding the origins of Mother's Day. I find Julia Ward Howe's words both beautiful and somewhat haunting, as many years after her lifetime, we continue to wage war upon each other and peace seems fleeting.

At the same time as being soberly reminded of unrest, I am surrounded by beauty. I am grateful for this beauty, and celebrate my mother's steadfast character.

And so I share a few images of the beautiful people, places, and moments that touch my life...

Smiles on my face, all day...

2007-04-29T22:27:00.000-04:00

This morning, at 7:45am, I brought three boxes of doughnuts to church.

Why? They served as incentive and encouragement for our high school students to arrive on time to begin rehearsing for the drama they contributed to this morning's worship service. It was a beautiful service, including the baptism of my second-cousin, as well as the drama our students presented, which went well. It was exciting to see our students participating in the service and I was really proud of them.

The greatness of the day continued as the sun shown brightly on the gathering for cake after the service, attended by most of the congregation in the backyard of the parsonage. The crowd cleared out and I spent the afternoon barefoot, playing hide and seek (I was the official counter for my second-cousins, under the age of five, who cannot yet count to thirty), climbing on the play-set (skirt and all), and pushing the kiddos on the swings. I laughed a lot and these boys make me smile. I cannot say I have the same fondness for infants, but little kiddos are great.

Today reminded me that life is to be greatly celebrated. And I love life a lot... ;)

"Christian Anthropology"

2007-04-25T22:22:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I visited Western Theological Seminary, considering their dual-competency track program, which provides students the opportunity to complete Master's of Divinity and Master's of Social Work degrees in four years.

It was a beautiful day.

I spoke with an administrative leader who affirmed my ability to articulate what he called a "Christian anthropology." By this, he meant the passion and compassion to see people with the eyes of Christ, to consider people as God's people.

This comment stemmed from my humble attempt to share with him some of the things I've been pondering. Dignity, respect, space, belonging, identity. Somehow these things speak to the essence of personhood, I think. And when I try to share my heart for the way I hope to live, these are the things I feebly try to articulate, and more importantly, to act upon.

I want to approach each relationship and interaction I have in a way that conveys respect and the dignity that each individual deserves on the very basis of being made in the image of a Creator, reconciled by a Savior and upheld by a Sustainer. We need each other. We need to lament together and we need to hope together. We need to care for each other, with a deep passion and investment in each other's well-being. We need to listen to each other, to learn from each other.

We need to love. And we need to be honest when we recognize we are not living well, when we are not reflecting well the Kingdom we are committed to serving.

So we go forth, into the mess and the brokenness, with the tears in our eyes and groans from our hearts. But we go forth boldly too, because of the confidence in all things becoming new.

These are some of the things on my heart, the stirrings of these last months and weeks. As this school year and semester begin to come to an end, there is much for me to reflect upon. And even as I look back and learn, we again begin a new day, as our journeys continue...

2007-04-22T13:35:00.000-04:00

"Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly."

~Langston Hughes.

On my mind this week...

2007-04-21T13:03:00.000-04:00

"In our world of loneliness and despair, there is an enormous need for men and women who know the heart of God, a heart that forgives, that cares, that reaches out and wants to heal. In that heart there is no suspicion, no vindictiveness, no resentment, and not a tinge of hatred. It is a heart that wants only to give love and receive love in response. It is a heart that suffers immensely because it sees the magnitude of human pain and the great resistance to trusting the heart of God who wants to offer consolation and hope."

~Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus.